so, i overdosed on friday the 4th and was an inpatient at mh all weekend..which was hell...now im in an outpatient group therapy..which is also hell. im the person there so i dont know anybody where everyone else has known the other group members for months or longer. they are also much further along in their recovery and so the group is doing things that are way ahead of where im at which only makes me feel worse. the group setting is making my anxiety worse and is setting off my ocd really bad as well. i hate it so much and its an all day thing from 930am to 5 or 6pm depending on the day but i know if i dont go nothing will ever change. so now im stuck between whether its worth it to try to do therapy that i hate and have a really difficult time or to give up on the group thing and see if there are any other options that work better. i dont remember much about the whole weekend and im still a little out of it from the od. i remember the paramedic say i was crying and the only thought in my head was "i shouldve taken more". looking back now, im glad i survived but at the time and even the next day, all i could think was that i didnt take enough and i shouldve taken more and that i was even a failure at dying.