Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by blackfire, Nov 15, 2006.

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  1. blackfire

    blackfire Well-Known Member

    I was used by a girl i truely loved. She didn't truely love me though. We dated for 6 months. Were planning to elope and go to university near each other. We were very serious or I thought, she just played along. We got to the point 4 months into the relationship that we'd have sex regularly.

    I found out later that she had had sex with 3 other guys multiple times. She also lied about where she was and what she was doing. She'd go smoke pot with her ex and consoul in him. she was always secretive about who she was with. I was never apart of her life. she was living a double standard life. She dumped me because I was never there for her. I was at her house every day for 6 months. I am still so devastated 5 months later. I have a hard time trusting girls. I was used and abused.
  2. hatelife

    hatelife Active Member

    hey im sorry for the pain, as a girl myself i can say that not all girls are like that, some are faithful, sorry i know it just sounds like a bunch of words. i can not say i understand where your coming from cos i have never had a partner be so unfaithful. but i kinda know the trouble of getting over someone who you had deep feelings for. hope you find the girl who treats you right cos thats what everyone deserves and there will be one out there
  3. yada

    yada Well-Known Member

    I have also not had a girlfriend cheat on me, at least not that I know of. But one thing for sure is that I've felt the pain of losing a girl in the past. Twice actually. Once was due to not being able to have someone I wanted badly, and the other was losing someone I had. In both cases, it was hell. I could not work, think, sleep, or do anything for that matter.

    The first time it happened, I told myself logically that I did not know her a couple years before and lived happily then, so why not now (at that time). I am scientific and logic always worked for me, but as logical as I am, there was some part of me that hurt badly still. But over time I got over it. The hurt didn't just stop, but it faded away.

    The second time it happened, I knew for sure then that I would get over her, but it still hurt like hell. And for a long time again. I had hoped it would've been easier the second time around, but it wasn't. But again, I got over it after some time.

    To help me get over them, I used to try to think of all the bad things about them, but that wasn't easy. I've seen this also with many other friends who've lost people they once loved.

    The fact is, we are human and these things hurt. As much as we try to be strong, we do hurt over these things. It's part of what makes us human I guess. I am a bit older than most on this forum and it hurts to see people become suicidal over a lost love, and in some cases people who actually commit suicide over this. I totally understand the pain, but somehow I wish to impart upon these young kids that it's not worth it. You will get over it, and you really do have a full life ahead of you after that. No I won't tell you that you should snap your fingers and the pain will be gone, but I pretty much assure you that it will be over in time.

    And hatelife is correct. Not all girls are like that, as my ex-girlfriends have all been great. It's just certain circumstances that made up separate at that time. In your situation, you probably have the right to feel bitter, but in some cases having a reason to hate her should help you get over the pain of lost love quicker.

    FWIW, today I look back at some of those times and feel good about it now. I much prefer to have loved, lost, and endured that pain, than to never have loved before. Who ever came up with that saying knew what they were talking about.
    Last edited by a moderator: Nov 15, 2006
  4. blackfire

    blackfire Well-Known Member


    Your post meant a lot to me. I know not all girls are the way my ex was. I have two ex's previous to this one that were both wonderful, but also broke up with me. It is depressing though. I have many friends that are getting married this year. I wish it was easy to find hte right girl. But life isn't easy either.
  5. music_addict

    music_addict Well-Known Member

    well at least you can take some solace in that fact that at least someone was interested enough in you to at least pretend to be faithful. I, on the other hand, have never had anything close to a relationship of any kind. so you can feel better knowing that your at least better off than my piece of shit life.
  6. hatelife

    hatelife Active Member

    I dont mean to sound heartless or cold but since most of the people who know me will refer to me as a female dog but in the not so nice term, this side was bound to come out sooner or later,

    there is a saying that it is better to have loved and lost then to not love at all. I disagree because if you have loved and lost it hurts like hell. To go out with a number of people and have it not work out is not always something good. so please people out there do not feel down because you have had no relationship because you have managed to avoid a peice of added pain. I am a beleiver that there is someone out there for everyone but sometimes looking for that someone is not the answer. The right person will come along and when they do it will be worth the waite. But hang in there cos that someone will be just around the corner. I just dont know how big that corner is.

    maybe i am being a bit hard on the saying it is best to love and lost yada yada but that would be because i am having a lot of trouble recovering from a guy who i was only with for 2 months but in that month i fell hard and fast for him, he is the person who has been the closest to seeing the whole me. i know, i have no reason to complain, the break up was my fault. i think i will just be quite now. sorry if this has offended anyone.
    Last edited by a moderator: Nov 16, 2006
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