No antidepressant. No anxiety meds. No self medicating...but how do I deal with the array of "feelings" and the pictures popping into my head. I have no idea how to cope with this, at least in a good way. After my first therapy appointment this week I'm in emotional hell. No longer numb, today I sit alone with these thoughts, I don't know what to do with this. I need it to stop. Relapse for relief..I hate who I am right now.