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snowraven

Well-Known Member
#1
I first found SF several years ago when I was really struggling and the help I received saved me. I really thought I had left these feelings behind but now suddenly I'm plunged back into those dark places. This last week has been a nightmare and today I am really scared about how low I find myself sinking. My will to carry on has gone. I don't have the strength anymore.
 

Sad Elf

Well-Known Member
#3
Hi

Do you know what it was that helped you last time you felt like this ? Is there anything that you can either start of stop doing that might help ?

It was a good idea to come back here, everyone is really supportive and I find it helps just knowing I am not alone.

Take care
Elf
 

snowraven

Well-Known Member
#4
Thanks for the reply Elf. Being able to talk with someone about how I was feeling is what helped. In real life people run a mile if you mention suicide. Here I met others who understood. As you say it's helpful knowing you are not alone. Really not sure if there is anything I can do to help me through this one though. Except maybe to never trust anyone again. The ones you allow to get close seem to be the ones who hurt you the most. Maybe I should have learnt that lesson before. I'll probably be OK but today has been so hard.
 

Legate Lanius

Well-Known Member
#5
Thanks for the reply Elf. Being able to talk with someone about how I was feeling is what helped. In real life people run a mile if you mention suicide. Here I met others who understood. As you say it's helpful knowing you are not alone. Really not sure if there is anything I can do to help me through this one though. Except maybe to never trust anyone again. The ones you allow to get close seem to be the ones who hurt you the most. Maybe I should have learnt that lesson before. I'll probably be OK but today has been so hard.
Give us the deets, fella.
 

Champagne

✯✯ Heart of an angel ✯✯
Staff Alumni
SF Supporter
#6
Hey there @snowraven

Don't worry about where you post - its in the right place here anyway.

I'm sorry you have had a rough week, or as you called it a nightmare, that is saddening. Do you want to talk more about what led to you coming back here re: the trust issues? If you don't I understand but I do think that talking about it may help and give you some relief.

I'm glad SF helped you so much before, it can again, we are here and we do care,, otherwise we wouldn't be posting.

I hope things improve and a huge well done for reaching out here.

May the next few days and weeks be easier on you. Be kind to yourself too and don't beat yourself up.
 

snowraven

Well-Known Member
#7
Many thanks for the replies. It's such a long complicated story really but the main points are to do with my girlfriend who lives in a different country having a miscarriage earlier this year. We wanted to have some kind of ceremony to help us heal from this but lockdowns have prevented that happening. We had even decided to do something by a video link but had always agreed it had to be done together. Last Saturday morning we planned something for a couple of weeks time because where she lives was in lockdown again and she said she couldn't get to where we had decided to bury the remains. 6 hours later when I went to call her I discovered a text message saying she had gone anyway and done it without me. She gave me an hours warning and now tells me it's my fault I missed it. This all triggered off things in me to do with hardly seeing my first child for 7 years, the reason I first came to SF in the first place. I was excluded from my sons childhood and now feel excluded from what would have been my daughters funeral. It's all way more complicated than that but that's the basics.
 

1964dodge

Has a frog in the family
Forum Pro
SF Supporter
#10
i'm so sorry that happened to you @snowraven . a miscarriage is a terrible thing to live with. my wife and i still think of ours occasionally and it's been over 40 years. my heart goes out to you but you have to move on. try to hold on. celebrate your son that is living and remember your daughter with fond memories and love. please stick around and keep talking, we are listening. anytime you want to talk please feel free to use my inbox...mike...*hug*console*shake
 

snowraven

Well-Known Member
#11
i'm so sorry that happened to you @snowraven . a miscarriage is a terrible thing to live with. my wife and i still think of ours occasionally and it's been over 40 years. my heart goes out to you but you have to move on. try to hold on. celebrate your son that is living and remember your daughter with fond memories and love. please stick around and keep talking, we are listening. anytime you want to talk please feel free to use my inbox...mike...*hug*console*shake
Many thanks for your kind words. Losing the child has been hard but what's made it more so is the fact that I live in Manchester and my girlfriend lives in Madrid. I managed to spend a few days there after the miscarriage but since then because of the lockdown it's now been over 6 months since we've been able to see each other to give the comfort and support we both need. It's hard enough being only able to talk on the phone but because she has trouble talking about feelings it's all falling apart. We wanted do have some kind of ceremony to bury the remains and had talked about this since it happened. Last week the remains were buried but I didn't even know it was happening until afterwards. I understand she had to do something but to have been excluded from it just hurts so much. Not being able to see her has brought back all the old feelings of not being able to see my son for so long. I will get through this but feel really down at the moment. So thankful for this forum being here because it's the one place I know I can talk about these things. Thanks again. Best wishes. Simon.
 

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