I was holding myself together, on the outside, at least. Then this morning, I completely broke down sobbing and screaming uncontrollably. I miss my ex SO much. He is my soulmate and I am still in love with him, even though he broke off our engagement 3 months ago for no good reason. I've tried to move on, I've met other guys, but all I can think of is him. And I know he's probably screwing some other girl and is having a grand old time and has forgotten about me. It seems so unfair that he just left me here, where I have no friends or family. And while he's still got his friends, I have no one, and I feel pitiful because I'm not strong enough to move past this. I've started cutting again, and drinking a lot, and if I could, I would OD right now, just so I wouldn't have to feel this pain anymore. It hasn't gotten better over time, it's gotten worse. And maybe there is someone else out there for me, but I don't know if I can hold out long enough to meet them. I can't live like this anymore. Half of me is torn to just try to OD right now. The other half is feeling the obligations that I have for school this afternoon. I really wish I just had the guts to just end all of this.