I relapsed again. I hate the holidays, they always remind me of everything I was before… this. You know it seemed like I had just started to get myself back together I was eating on the regular and I had just gotten to the point when I wasn’t thinking about junk all of the time. I got a new place far away from the basement apartment in the wasteland section of town and a paying gig as a studio musician. So why do I still want to just jam a needle in my arm and a barrel in my mouth?