Relapse

Discussion in 'Help Me! I Need to Talk to Someone.' started by total eclipse, Sep 13, 2009.

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  1. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    I am so tired and depressed my daughter has relapsed and is now in a room with only a mattress on the floor. She is suffering greatly and i just don't have energy to deal with it anymore. I can't go see her in this pain like this
    i am not strong anymore i have become helpless now. I am this child from long ago and want only to hide away i am in to much pain My twin called and said she would go see my daughter god i can't go on anymore The pain is too great for me I have been in bed most days hiding out now i need a way out i can't watch this anymore her distruction i can't hold on when there is no hope in sight. Not a very good mother right but i said i wouldn't interfer with her care anymore so i need to just find a way to stop this pain somehow
    i am just drained. I will not do anything tonight but i don't know how much longer i can hold on. really how much more suffering can one watch and feel helpless to change anything.
     
  2. WildCherry

    WildCherry Staff Member ADMIN

    I don't know the circumstances of what's going on with your daughter, but I'm sorry things have gotten worse. Here if you need to talk.
     
  3. elleanne

    elleanne Well-Known Member

    Hi, Violet.
    I`m new here. What is your daughter relapsing with? Does she have access to professional care?
    Sorry I can`t be any help.Just wanted to let you know that I read your post, and I care.
    elleanne
     
  4. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    She is no better than she was 9 wks ago when she went into treatment. She is drinking cutting herself acting like a 2 year old instead of a 20 yr old and she just doesn't get it. People crying for help and she wants be to take her home because she was locked up for her own good. She put herself there with her behavior and blames everyone else When is she going to grow up and stop acting like this she is killing her father and me with her behavior Why the hell won't she just grow up.
     
  5. elleanne

    elleanne Well-Known Member

    Is she `locked up` in a hospital?
    I don`t know what her diagnosis is, but she obviously is having a really hard time. If she was `locked up` for her own good, was that under the mental health act? She may not recognise that she is unwell, or may feel undeserving of help / care.
    You obviously feel unable to help her at the moment. While she`s not at home, you can just not visit, and maybe write to whoever`s in charge of where she`s `locked up`, asking them to prevent her from contacting you / her father at home or from being discharged/ released home. Then you can have time to think about if you are able to have her home, again, if you`ll need help if/when that happens, or if you want to just cut all ties.
    elle
     
  6. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    Stupid doctor psychiatrist released her home after she said she did not feel safe after i said i was not well they released her anyway not i deal with the fall out again ideal with it not them not any of them memmmmmeeeee fffffff stupid why didn't they put her on form andkeep her i hate this If anything happens it is their fault because they were told i was not well and she did not feel safe they were told.
     
  7. WldHair

    WldHair Well-Known Member

    I agree with elleanne. I was in touch with a young woman with BPD and it sounds almost identical with what I went through with her. Depending on the severity of the disorder, some people are incapable of taking any kind of responsibility for their actions and cannot see how bad off they are. What may help you, and helped me, is to see it isn't her personally, but her illness which is acting out. You may want to call the hospital and say your daughter isn't well and you are afraid she is going to wind up taking her life and that she wasn't in any condition to be released in the first place. You can even take photographs to drive home your point. If they won't take her, find someplace else. You need help and to have a hospital that understands that. Some facilities just could care less because they're overworked and understaffed which is a shame.

    Try that and see what happens.

    Chaeya
     
  8. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    Unfortunately the hospital here could care less as well BPD is like a fatal illness and noone wants to touch it or look after it. I made appt sept 22 to see her psych doctor but he doesn't care either. He released her to the streets so ffffff 60yr olds could take advantage of her in her mental state. I am going to increase her psych meds the hell with all of them If i have to sedate her i will I hate this I hate me so much she is puking her guts out now went out drinking drank bottle of cough syrup with D in it talking about going out again tommorrow ffffffffffffffffff she doesn't care she wants to die they knew this they knew i was unstable but they just didn't give a shit take her the hell out of their hospital after they took her off all her meds and made her unstable they send her home to me Well guess what i will medicate her to the hills if i have to keep her from going out and if that doesn't work then there is only one other way so ffff all of them thanks for dumping all this on me again thanks ever so much don't fff critisize me or anything i do to keep her stable and safe now because you sent her home in my care. ah what a ff joke.
     
  9. Oceans

    Oceans Well-Known Member

    Hi violet

    I don't know how to help, but i did read your post and I can see how much pain and suffering you are in. keep letting it out here if it helps.
     
  10. WldHair

    WldHair Well-Known Member

    Maybe that's all you can do, Violet. Maybe at some point, she'll come out of it. My hugs and light are with you. Much strength to you because you are dealing with so much.
     
  11. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    She has gone again god knows when she will return and what conditon i am too tired to fight i just want way out I know it is her illness she is so cold she just doesn't care abt anyone or anything but her fix. i cant' watch this anymore I tried to get help i tried to cope itried at least ican say that please god help her see because ican't do this anymore.
     
  12. elleanne

    elleanne Well-Known Member

    Yep, that`s the typical attitude of `professionals` towards personality disorders. BPD is called by many a "wastebucket diagnosis". I don`t think there`s anything I can suggest here. Have you looked at the diagnostic criteria for BPD(it`s called Emotionaly unstable disorder in the ICD10)? You are more of an expert on your daughter than the `professionals`. The reason I say that is because she may / may not fit the criteria, but may also have another psych illness that may be deemed more `treatable` by the `professionals`.There are now legal reuirements in parts of the UK where PD clients have to have a certain level of care.
    elleanne
     
  13. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    All i know is i am going down the sprial with her i am falling so fast i can't stop to breath. So dam tired toomany people to care for Don't tell me not to care because i can't stop being who i am. I take care of them all because the ffffffffff health system doesn't give a shit so they just dump them on the street where they are violated and abused. Not going to happen do you hear me i will not let my daughter or sister or brothers be ignored ever again. I missed one i forgot to care for him and he fff killed himself i just did't care for him i just let him slip through didn't see it and now hes gone god why i tried but i ffff up I don't care what anyone says the fffff system failed him they kept throwing him away and i just didn't have energy or insight this time i fff up but not again even if i have to ffff destroy myself i will because the next time it will not be my fault i will have done evrything to save them i will have tried my best iam tirednow sorry
     
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