I stopped cutting for a long time and now I'm doing it again. It's so much worse this time. It's all I think about it's all that keeps my mind from going insane. I feel like I'm going crazy and it's the only way to stop it. I've tried running, arts and even trying to go out and have fun but it all makes me feel worse then makes me want to cut worse. I don't know what to do anymore. I hate talking to people about this. My boyfriend is always concerned about me but I have this tendency to push him away. He's asked me if I started cutting again, I guess he assumed cause I have withdrawn so much and my anxiety is through the roof. I lied to him. I am cutting but I can't tell him or anyone. I don't feel like he can understand. I'm hoping someone here who's maybe gone through something similar can give me some insight. I hate scars and yet I still do it.. I don't like feeling like this but I feel like I deserve this too. It's so confusing. Probably why I hate myself I'm always all over the place..