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Relapsing [may be triggering]

Discussion in 'Mental Health Disorders' started by relapse.again, Apr 24, 2012.

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  1. relapse.again

    relapse.again New Member

    Hi Im Casey.
    I was hospitalised for Anorexia Binge-purge type almost a year ago for 3 months. After that I was in a day program for another 3 months.
    I was finally on the road to recovery. I havent purged since November last year.
    This is amazing for me as for the last 6 years I was purging daily.

    I dont know why but a huge fight with an ex friend at work really triggered me on Saturday.
    Ive been restricting since and havent eaten much today.. Which i can cope with.
    But i had potatoes and a slice of bread at dinner.
    I feel disgusting. I cant cope. I just want to self harm and purg and exercise and restrict to compensate.
    But i cant put my family through that again. My mum last her mother just under a month ago.

    And she told me at the funeral that she had spent the past year thinking it would have been me.
    Honestly.. I wish it was.

    I need someone to talk to but my psychologist hasnt responded to my messages and shes the only one who has helped.
    Theres no online counseling available as i live in australia and its one am so i just needed to vent.

  2. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    I hope hun you can keep you safe okay You are doing so well don't let this fight hun take any control away from you now I hope your therapist gets back to you soon. Please keep venting okay it helps
  3. Medusa.

    Medusa. Well-Known Member

    You've been doing so well, I really hope you don't let this fight ruin all your hard work. I know its hard, I've been triggered a lot lately too, but don't give up.
    If you ever need suport just let me know. Keep fighting and try to get as much support as you can. Be safe.
  4. savetoniqht

    savetoniqht Well-Known Member

    I'm so sorry you're going through this. :( Recovery can be just as distressing and horrible as when you're in the deepest black hole of your ED. Hiding what you're feeling because of other things that are going on isn't going to help. At the same time, though, you need to recognize that "recovery" and "relapse" are extremely definitive terms. Not to get all cliche, but recovering is a journey. A slip up, whether it's a day or a few days, does not mean you just back tracked on all the progress you made. You need to take what's going on in the moment as it is and realize that it doesn't define your progress. Right now focus on dealing with the problem at hand, in this moment, and when you are able to talk to your therapist you can express your fears about the long term. Stay strong for now... I have faith that you can overcome this. :hug:
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