I'm depressed most of the time and I find myself finding temporary relief by occupying my thoughts with boys and sex. Is this related or is my addicted to the aforementioned subject a totally different problem in itself?
In addition, I am always a very loud person in public; I crave attention and seek approval from others. I've actually been given the comment that someone knew I was depressed because of all these things (being loud and craving attention from others). Are these syptoms along with envy regular signs of depression?
Im a guy, but, a few of my ex's were always quite moody and down when unsatisfied sexually. So I think thats normal. As for craving attention and bieng loud, would you say thats only some of the time or do you have spells of bieng very quiet aswell?
either way I wouldn't necessarily call it depression, There's no rush to label the new thoughts your having as anything.
Well, I believe I've always been depressed. I've gone through a lot in my life and I could type it down if you really want to hear it. I was just wondering if that had anything to do with my depression. I used to be on anti-depressants and since then, I've been much better but I still get depressed and what's funny is that its always during a certain time of the day - afternoon when the sun sets. I'm loud when I'm with friends but they don't know that I lay down in bed every night with tears in my eyes because for some reason, I'm extremely lonely and still don't feel accepted. I dunno...I can't explain it right.
Sorry 'bout that, I assumed too much there. We all seek things that sometimes we think we can't have, there's no reason you can't forfill your dreams though. Im no expert in love but it seems you know what you want atleast. thats a start :smile: Have you got a girlfriend who's had similar issues with boys/sex? If you could get them to be honest it would be a better compass than my thoughts.
If you've experienced the kind of attention you crave, and then its taken away from you, Its only natural to crave the same thing. I've known girls (Im assuming your female) who have scoured the earth for the right attention, most of them are still looking. Some find somebody who meets a few of their criteria for a man, then they go to work on the rest of him, moulding him into the perfect gent for them. I should be quiet anyway, I'm only speculating on what I've seen in the relationships I've had. Just don't give up looking, very few people get everything they want.
You know what? Actually, I do. But she is stronger and makes better decisions than I do. I'm very promiscuous and at the same time, I care about what people think of me therefore, I keep my actions on the down low, if that makes any sense. So I really don't have anyone to talk to about my issues. My recent bf died on the 5th from a motorcycle accident and I really didn't have anyone to talk to because from a recent break up from a very serious 2.5 year relatioship, I experienced co-workers talking about me and telling me "I'm doing it to myself" coz I always cried at work. All I know of myself right now is that I'm making the wrong decisions and I don't know how to stop.
To have your co-workers be like that must of been awfull. I think you'll find your always welcome to talk about these things here. Theres usually more people online to talk to. Theres some really supportive people on here, I know this because I have had my own problems lately which were documented quite well and people helped me past them. so keep talking through the issues you have and its natural to enjoy sex, so don't give yourself a hard time over it
I undersand what its like to be rejected by a loved one, I can't imagine what you must be going through to lose one in such a way. Are you still getting councelling at all? any meds? whats the situation with your main doctor?
Yeah, having co-workers that did that to me made me really feel like shyet. I don't have any friends at home to begin with and that didn't help the situation. As far as me losing my bf....that's what I meant by my initial post is that I'm filling in the void by trying to keep busy with other guys and trying to get attention here and there instead of trying to take things slow and learn to be happy with myself. I've never learned how to do that. Looking at my life, I've always been lonely and I wonder what's wrong with me and why I can't just be happy.
BTW, I'm a single mother. Father was killed in 02. My mom and brother are in the Philippines; my mom was an absued wife all her life. And my bf BEFORE the one that just died is in jail. A little more background. But what started it all was the break up I mentioned earlier with my 2.5 years relatioship.