L
I need some advice on my relationship as there is one aspect of it that is bothering me and I was hoping that some of you could give this 19 year old some good relationship advice! First, my boyfriend of 9 months has always treated me very well, has never yelled at me, or otherwise done anything to hurt me; we are very happy together. He is 23 and has no college education and I am 19 and will have my associates in December, and in January I will be working on my bachelors. He supports my education very much, so this isn't the issue, exactly. I feel terrible for saying this but, he's not very good at keeping and getting jobs, and that worries me a lot. He is currently without a job, by the way and has been for most of the time we have dated. I've confronted him, and I know he's working very hard to find a job-he's out every Monday and he gets at least one interview a week. He feels terrible and sad that he can't take care of me the way I deserve (his words). I can tell that he is getting discouraged and depressed. I do all that I can to support him, but alas...I can't help but be disappointed that he can't find a job anywhere or at least keep one. I can really tell that his outlook on things has changed and I actually believe him when he says that he'll do everything possible to not lose his next job and to find one to "support" me-his word. I don't know...I just wonder if his career issues are enough of an issue to break up with him over, if breaking up would be the right thing to do. I desperately want to do the right thing. My best friend says that he's a great guy and that he really loves me, and that he WILL find a job and that I should support him and encourage his goals/dreams right now. To me, money doesn't matter, job titles don't matter...but it does matter that he have some sort of job to help out-especially right now when he is living with his grandma. He needs(and wants desperately)to find hsi own place...but you can't do that if you don't have money. And I hate to say this, too, but I like going out sometimes. I'll admitt that I'm a homebody and would rather stay home most of time and entertain friends, but every so often I enjoy dinner and a movie...and I'm getting sad, disappointed, and frustrated that he doesn't have the money to take me out or buy me flowers. When he does have a job, he pays all his bills and takes me out-the whole deal-but I can't help but wonder if I'll ever gert that again. Or if his carreer issues are enough of a problem to break up with him over. Is it? I want to do the right thing here. My best friend says the right thing is to support the man who loves me(and whom I love), but I want more opinions. My family thinks money is everything(I'm not joking)and I have yet to tell them that my boyfriend lost is job in June. If they found out they would encourage me to break it off. I guess that's why I'm so concerned. I have not problem with him staying home if we get married some day-I love to work and respect those who take care of the home. He says that he does not want to be at home all day and would rather work, though. He has ambition but he's just very unlucky, I guess. (He has problems finding jobs because when he was 19 he got caught for possession of marijuana, by the way....) I need help!