Relationship Advice Wanted (Seriously)

Discussion in 'I Have a Question...' started by LtRoarke, Aug 23, 2006.

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  1. LtRoarke

    LtRoarke Guest

    I need some advice on my relationship as there is one aspect of it that is bothering me and I was hoping that some of you could give this 19 year old some good relationship advice! First, my boyfriend of 9 months has always treated me very well, has never yelled at me, or otherwise done anything to hurt me; we are very happy together. He is 23 and has no college education and I am 19 and will have my associates in December, and in January I will be working on my bachelors. He supports my education very much, so this isn't the issue, exactly. I feel terrible for saying this but, he's not very good at keeping and getting jobs, and that worries me a lot. He is currently without a job, by the way and has been for most of the time we have dated. I've confronted him, and I know he's working very hard to find a job-he's out every Monday and he gets at least one interview a week. He feels terrible and sad that he can't take care of me the way I deserve (his words). I can tell that he is getting discouraged and depressed. I do all that I can to support him, but alas...I can't help but be disappointed that he can't find a job anywhere or at least keep one. I can really tell that his outlook on things has changed and I actually believe him when he says that he'll do everything possible to not lose his next job and to find one to "support" me-his word. I don't know...I just wonder if his career issues are enough of an issue to break up with him over, if breaking up would be the right thing to do. I desperately want to do the right thing. My best friend says that he's a great guy and that he really loves me, and that he WILL find a job and that I should support him and encourage his goals/dreams right now. To me, money doesn't matter, job titles don't matter...but it does matter that he have some sort of job to help out-especially right now when he is living with his grandma. He needs(and wants desperately)to find hsi own place...but you can't do that if you don't have money. And I hate to say this, too, but I like going out sometimes. I'll admitt that I'm a homebody and would rather stay home most of time and entertain friends, but every so often I enjoy dinner and a movie...and I'm getting sad, disappointed, and frustrated that he doesn't have the money to take me out or buy me flowers. When he does have a job, he pays all his bills and takes me out-the whole deal-but I can't help but wonder if I'll ever gert that again. Or if his carreer issues are enough of a problem to break up with him over. Is it? I want to do the right thing here. My best friend says the right thing is to support the man who loves me(and whom I love), but I want more opinions. My family thinks money is everything(I'm not joking)and I have yet to tell them that my boyfriend lost is job in June. If they found out they would encourage me to break it off. I guess that's why I'm so concerned. I have not problem with him staying home if we get married some day-I love to work and respect those who take care of the home. He says that he does not want to be at home all day and would rather work, though. He has ambition but he's just very unlucky, I guess. (He has problems finding jobs because when he was 19 he got caught for possession of marijuana, by the way....) I need help!
     
  2. One who listens..

    One who listens.. Well-Known Member

    If you truly do love him, money shouldn't be an issue. And, at least, he's trying hard to get a job. I would advise you to drop him only if he was a slacker, never tried to get a job, and all that.

    As it sounds, he's trying hard, but just not succeeding, but the best time of the year for jobs is coming up (Schools starting, losing all them fulltime schoolteens), so give him some more time to get a job.

    I hope this helps you make your choice, love is worth more then money.

    *OWL*
     
  3. LtRoarke

    LtRoarke Guest

    Thanks for you quick reply! It will most definately help me sleep tonight. He is trying hard, and sometimes I forget how difficult it must be to find a job. I've only had one and I got it the very first day I went out...the first place I went to actually...so I don't really have the experience he does. It's hard to imagine how he feels and what it is like to do the application and interview thing. And I know I'm young and probably niave so I don't liek making rash decisions without knowing I'm doing what it right(or closest to it). Thanks very much for you answer! I really appreciated the quick reply.
     
  4. One who listens..

    One who listens.. Well-Known Member

    No problem on the quick reply, I'm happy to know it helped.

    As for me, I've had 5 jobs, and I'm only 17... And I never once had to take an interview...

    1st job was with my dad doing electrician work as his assistant, second was carpenters assistant to my dads friend, third was Value Village (Second hand clothes store) and My mom is the assistant manager, so that was easy, 4th was Subway, the manager is my moms friend, and my last job was at a french daycare, which was on a federal exchange program.

    Thankfully though, I have all these awesome things to put on my resume, so If I need another job, I'm good ^.^
     
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