relationship advice

Discussion in 'Rants, Musings and Ideas' started by Stormhand, Oct 26, 2009.

  1. Stormhand

    Stormhand Well-Known Member

    For abit over a year I have been talking to this girl.
    We both hope to meet some day.
    But my thing is this, she always seems so distant.
    I am not certain if there is just something she went through, and she wound up like this or its something I am or am not doing.
    But I have a habit of watching what I say.

    Last night I got to spend a couple hours with her, which is the longest in quite a while.
    but all I wish to know is how can I help someone who seems I want to say a bit closed, I am hoping she is not still being shy with how long I have known her.

    but any help/advice would be appreciated.
  2. Aurora Gory Alice

    Aurora Gory Alice Well-Known Member

    Sometimes people stay closed in because they are afraid of what opening themselves up might mean.

    Maybe if she trusts and believes you won't hurt her and that you are there for her she may open up a little more.
    A good thing to try might be to show her your vulnerable side also. Open up to her and tell her things you have never told anybody, tell her about your life and the things you have gone through.
    Once she sees how open you are with her and how much you are willing to let her in, it might make her more comfortable about doing the same? :)
  3. Stormhand

    Stormhand Well-Known Member

    Well last night I did open up to her some, told her of my awful time with my family and dad's funeral.
    But opening up is not something easy for me, unless I am just to that point I feel I have nowhere to go, noone to count on then I just want to pop or blow up.
  4. Aurora Gory Alice

    Aurora Gory Alice Well-Known Member

    Maybe it's the same for her, but worse.

    A lot of the time when people have been hurt they build up a wall, and the more they get hurt, the higher and thicker the wall gets and the more introverted and aloof they become.
    I can definitely relate because my wall would put the Great Wall of China to shame! And I also do this to guys, even guys I like and want to get to know. I can't help it. But I guess I want them to knock down my wall.
    Sadly nobody ever has.
  5. Stormhand

    Stormhand Well-Known Member

    Yeah I know about how she was going through an ex of her, shoot I knew when she was still with the guy.
    I always went on and on for her to dump the ass for how bad he was treating her, I think its one reason she talked to me too much, she said I am the first guy to not treat her like crap.
    but now I don't get to talk to her as much cause how she is living with her parents and trying to take care of them, here sister ( who has seizures like I do, then there is her other sister who she don't get along with so much, and that putting it mildly, they are opposites in almost every aspect.

    But I am supposed to meet her tonight when she is done