Decided to have a little rant today.
It seems that as I get older I am having more pressure placed on me to have a wife and kids. Every time I talk to my family they say I need to find a woman and have lots of babies. Every time they do this I replay with how I will start after I am done with school. The problem is I am just about done with school and will have to either change tactics or tell the truth that I don’t intend to ever have a relationship.
The truth is that many years ago I decided that I would never have a woman. At first I decided that it was because I had no relationship skills and that no woman would want me. Now though, I know it just doesn’t appeal to me. When I came to the university I got in to the local seduction community to build my relationship skills. It certainly worked, I am now far more confident with women and men, I can even attract women if I want too. In fact I have had a couple openly say they will sleep with me. Of those 2 women I somewhat regret not sleeping with one of them simply for the experience and the fact I was kind of rude when I turned her down. She was very beautiful and a nice person, I just have no interest in screwing anyone.
The seduction community also helped me figure things out. First it showed me I have no real interest in creating relationships with other people. I’ve met people in class and in clubs and other places but none of them ever seemed worth my time. Currently I am in a university club for the sole purpose of having something to put on a resume. I don’t particularly like the people, and I don’t think they like me either. We are all polite but beyond the club I go my way and they go theirs. The few time I have interacted with them, for an extended time, I was made very comfortable.
Second, the seduction community here helped me learn that I am asexual. One of the main things they teach is to always try to talk to women you want to have sex with. The problem for me was that I never saw women I wanted to have sex with. Yes I can tell that a woman is pretty, but the thought of sex almost never enters my mine. If I do want sex with a paticuler woman, it comes way after I have met them and have become comfortable with them. And even then I will never act on it. I personally find the idea of sex disgusting. The idea of being all sweaty with another person, sharing spit, sexual fluids and what is basically animal rutting is not appealing in my normal state of mind. There are times when I do get horny but I don’t want sex. All I want is to go to the bathroom and do what I must to relieve the pressure.
Ok so I don’t want a relationship because I am asexual and most relationships involve sex I would likely not be involved in very often. Also it seems like most of the people I meet, no matter where I go, do not seem worth getting to know any better.
Another issue I have is my own DNA. I decided a long time ago that I would never have kids. I was born with a lot of defects and my family has a history of other people having similar defects. Because I this I will never have biological children. Regardless of what other people say, having children when you know there is a good risk they could be deformed or that their children could be deformed should be a crime. I would never want one of my kids to have to go through the same bull shit I had too medically and socially. As everyone knows anyone who is not seen as right, even worse when it’s an obvious physical defect, will be taunted for no other reason than they are different. We do not live in a kind world.
Simply put, I am not sure how I am going to explain to my family in the near future that I am an asexual genetic freak who finds it very hard to like other people. I think my best bet is to just come up with another lie.
It seems that as I get older I am having more pressure placed on me to have a wife and kids. Every time I talk to my family they say I need to find a woman and have lots of babies. Every time they do this I replay with how I will start after I am done with school. The problem is I am just about done with school and will have to either change tactics or tell the truth that I don’t intend to ever have a relationship.
The truth is that many years ago I decided that I would never have a woman. At first I decided that it was because I had no relationship skills and that no woman would want me. Now though, I know it just doesn’t appeal to me. When I came to the university I got in to the local seduction community to build my relationship skills. It certainly worked, I am now far more confident with women and men, I can even attract women if I want too. In fact I have had a couple openly say they will sleep with me. Of those 2 women I somewhat regret not sleeping with one of them simply for the experience and the fact I was kind of rude when I turned her down. She was very beautiful and a nice person, I just have no interest in screwing anyone.
The seduction community also helped me figure things out. First it showed me I have no real interest in creating relationships with other people. I’ve met people in class and in clubs and other places but none of them ever seemed worth my time. Currently I am in a university club for the sole purpose of having something to put on a resume. I don’t particularly like the people, and I don’t think they like me either. We are all polite but beyond the club I go my way and they go theirs. The few time I have interacted with them, for an extended time, I was made very comfortable.
Second, the seduction community here helped me learn that I am asexual. One of the main things they teach is to always try to talk to women you want to have sex with. The problem for me was that I never saw women I wanted to have sex with. Yes I can tell that a woman is pretty, but the thought of sex almost never enters my mine. If I do want sex with a paticuler woman, it comes way after I have met them and have become comfortable with them. And even then I will never act on it. I personally find the idea of sex disgusting. The idea of being all sweaty with another person, sharing spit, sexual fluids and what is basically animal rutting is not appealing in my normal state of mind. There are times when I do get horny but I don’t want sex. All I want is to go to the bathroom and do what I must to relieve the pressure.
Ok so I don’t want a relationship because I am asexual and most relationships involve sex I would likely not be involved in very often. Also it seems like most of the people I meet, no matter where I go, do not seem worth getting to know any better.
Another issue I have is my own DNA. I decided a long time ago that I would never have kids. I was born with a lot of defects and my family has a history of other people having similar defects. Because I this I will never have biological children. Regardless of what other people say, having children when you know there is a good risk they could be deformed or that their children could be deformed should be a crime. I would never want one of my kids to have to go through the same bull shit I had too medically and socially. As everyone knows anyone who is not seen as right, even worse when it’s an obvious physical defect, will be taunted for no other reason than they are different. We do not live in a kind world.
Simply put, I am not sure how I am going to explain to my family in the near future that I am an asexual genetic freak who finds it very hard to like other people. I think my best bet is to just come up with another lie.
