Relationships and sex

Discussion in 'Family, Friends and Relationships' started by lost43215, Nov 10, 2009.

  1. lost43215

    lost43215 Well-Known Member

    It seems that whenever I get close to a girl relationship wise, whether it turn into dating or just staying friends or what, it always leads to sex. It's not even me that initiates it. I dont want sex. Sex has become meaningless to me and is just a waste of time at this point. It'd only be good again when Ive dated them and it's been quite some time b4 sex.

    So I know Ive seen the posting about sex on the first date. My question now is why? Why have sex on the first date or soonish. Is it just for the pleasure, does it bring you some sort of meaning? To me it doesnt seem like an act of love anymore in todays world and moreso an act of fun/pleasure. It just doesnt seem right anymore....
     
  2. Aurora Gory Alice

    Aurora Gory Alice Well-Known Member

    Why not tell the girl that you don't feel ready, when this happens next time? If you aren't ready for sex and see it as pointless then there's no point doing it just to keep the other person happy.

    I think the pure and simple answer is, she fancies you and she's horny. I guess there's not much more to it than that, other than her possibly wanting to be close to you. But I can't see why you'd be so eager to be 'close to' someone you barely know.
     
  3. lost43215

    lost43215 Well-Known Member

    Well ya, I dont want the sex part, but I guess I just go along with them just to make them happy. I mean, I do it to make them happy if they want it, but it just means the relationship goes downhill. Im going to start refusing though... but still, question remains the same, why have sex so soon?
     
  4. NoGood

    NoGood Well-Known Member

    Alot of girls, think that thats what the guy wants, so they do it for you rather than wanting it themselves. Girls think that if they give you sex you will stay with them longer. This isnt ever girls opinion, certainly not mine as i think the opposite is true, the more you keep them waitin, the more a guy will want you, well thats how i work it anyway.

    Basically i think girls have sex early to keep a guy from getting it elsewhere.

    Or like Lindy said : she likes you and she is horny haha (she has a way with words dont she lol)
     
  5. HiddenTears

    HiddenTears Well-Known Member

    I have had that problem too. Most recently I got fed up with it and I told this girl that I am not the type of guy that wants to fuck you, I want YOU! I slept with her, but didn't sleep with her. We just talked the entire night, you know I wanted to show her I was a good guy and everything because she was perfect. I can't understand what went wrong from there. I haven't talked to her since, and I just don't know why. She wanted me to have sex with her but I'm not good enough to hang out with? I sent her 2 texts just saying that I like spending time with her, and she blew me off. This was 2 months ago and I haven't heard from her since. I'm not saying that I won't ever have sex before marriage or anything like that but I want something more. I want a girl not her assets. Is this wrong?
     
  6. Aurora Gory Alice

    Aurora Gory Alice Well-Known Member

    Not Dom, it's not wrong. I tell you it's odd how the tables have turned though? I remember when I was a teenager (God, like it was in the 60s or something) and people used to talk about guys just sleeping with you and ditching you.
    You know what... girls can do this too. Girls can be just in it for the sex. I had a mate like this a few years ago, she was a commitment phobe, not interested in boyfriends and just liked to shag and ditch.
    It's unfortunate but it's true. But not all women are like that, in fact I'd say it's harder to find a woman like that, than it is to find a nice one.

    But holding out for sex is the best way to discover if someone truly wants you. Because if they wait - you know they are sticking around for a good reason.
     
  7. NoGood

    NoGood Well-Known Member

    nope thats not wrong, you wanna connect on a different level before you progree - i get ya ;) I dont know, girls are funny creatures, me included, maybe by not having sex with her, she took it as rejection. I dont know, some girls are after one thing, the same way some boys are after one thing. I doesnt mean as much to them as it does to you or I.

    Id prefer a guy who was willing to wait as long as it took and you sound like that kinda guy so im sure there are more people like us out there. Dont get hung up on it though, there are loads of fish in the sea and why would u want one that would hop into bed without emotional connection first anyway. If they are like that with you, whats to say they arnt like that with everyone else?
     
  8. Aurora Gory Alice

    Aurora Gory Alice Well-Known Member

    Now there's a point! That is definitely not the sort of girl you want to be sharing your bed with. *coughs Chlamydia cough*
     
  9. NoGood

    NoGood Well-Known Member

    I was thinking that when i was typing - god only know what you would catch!!!

    Great minds Lindy, great minds. :tiger:
     
  10. HiddenTears

    HiddenTears Well-Known Member

    It's just so confusing. I don't want to hijack his thread but I respect a girl who will not want to have sex. I don't want a *****, but at the same time I wouldn't care if she was as long as I was the last and we had an emotional connection. I hope there are more women like you, because I haven't met many...

    Haha, ouch. She was so beautiful that I don't want to think about that.
     
  11. HiddenTears

    HiddenTears Well-Known Member

    That's how I feel. I don't want to be another night, I want someone to talk to and have fun with and if the sex comes than atleast I know she likes me first. That's good advice
     
  12. NoGood

    NoGood Well-Known Member

    Lost - how is this thread working out for ya?? :)
     
  13. lost43215

    lost43215 Well-Known Member

    It sounds good... getting lots of great answers, thanks for asking :) And no worries HiddenTears, you can hijack the thread :)
     
  14. HiddenTears

    HiddenTears Well-Known Member

    I really didn't intend to. I just wanted to share that I am in the same boat you are. Sorry if I came off that way. :)
     
  15. sammakko

    sammakko Banned Member

    Interesting reading.