"Relationships are all about compromise"

Discussion in 'Family, Friends and Relationships' started by Johnny Messina, Jan 4, 2015.

  1. Johnny Messina

    Johnny Messina Well-Known Member

    Does this really have to be that way... I don't know, I live with my GF for a long time now.... Sometimes I have feeling that I would never end up with her if my life wasn't that way if you know what I mean.. I don't want to go to deep in my own world, I wrote about it on suicide boards.. I mean my gf is pretty, she helps me, she can be very nice and useful(bad word probably) for me and I have deep feelings about her (I mean we live together for almost 3 years) but every once in a while I'm questioning myself about this relathionship, I'm 26 now, she expects to go to another level probably soon.. In her world she's the one who always wait for something... Don't get me wrong, I was many times the bad guy in this relathionship, but at the end Im always wondering do I have to swalow her shit sometimes when she's bitch... It's crazy cause I'm not in love with her, and I'm wondering what compromise really is, what are it's limits.. Will I meet some day some girl and fell in love with her crazy, maybe that could happen both ways.. It's bad cause me and my gf don't really have common interests. I end up with other day with some girls doing christmas shoping and we al smiled, I don't remember when she smiled to my joke or when have we done something that we both enjoy TOGETHER... In reality she's good girl for me, but there is always something in me that wonders do I have to settle and if I'm w her only because my life was not best for many years now.. Than again the final question is if I even meet some dream girl and everything would it be the same after 2-3-4 years.. :couch2:
     
  2. Freya

    Freya Loves SF Staff Member ADMIN

    I am not necessarily best equipped to answer this but I am going to give it a go. I do not believe that "love is all you need" - I believe many many many relationships where there is a lot of love disintegrate and end for one reason or another. I do believe that love is the MINIMUM that you need because relationships are hard and they are work and absolutely all relationships come with irritations and things about the other person that drive you crazy, rough patches and hard times and even occasions when both parties are horrible to each other.

    Relationships are compromise but they are compromise built on love. People who want to be together enough and love each other enough bend so that the relationship doesn't break. If you do not love your girlfriend then I do not think the relationship will 'make it' in any case. Compromising doesn't mean settling - they are not the same thing. Compromising doesn't mean not having the person you want because this is "all you can get" - it means that you make other compromises SO you can have the person you want. Do you understand the distinction I am trying to make? You are considering compromise on the wrong aspect - love or not love is not where the compromise should be made.
     
  3. Johnny Messina

    Johnny Messina Well-Known Member

    It is actually good answer... I'm in weird place mentaly w my relationship... I would like to tell more about it but I can't express it with words..
     
  4. scaryforest

    scaryforest Banned Member

    maybe take up a joint hobby
    and live more in the moment?