**Relationships on the internet?**

Discussion in 'Soap Box' started by Marshmallow, Dec 11, 2006.

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  1. Marshmallow

    Marshmallow Staff Alumni

    Evening all,

    Well i dunno if this has been done before and i can't be bothered to look lol, but anyway i was wondering what y'all thought of relationships over the internet? do you think they work? is it true? can you fall in love over the internet?

    The reason why i ask is that i've been reading about people having relationships over the ineternet and im confused about wether it could actually work or not.

    I mean fair enough you can get very close to someone over the internet and i have but is it possible to make the commitment of a relationship without ever meeting them? how would a relationship like that work? is it possible? a main part of a relationship is showing affection, is it possible to do that without being anywhere near them? not being able to give them a cuddle or kiss?

    I love and care alot for people on here but it hurts not being able to give them a kiss or cuddle, one person in particular it breaks my heart but how could someone handle being in a commited relationship and not being able to do that when for example when they live in different countries?

    What about falling in love over the internet? My opinion is that you can have very strong feelings for someone and is completely possible fall in love with them but can it be called love when you only know what the other person tells you? for me a big part of love is actually getting to know every part about someone and i think i big part of that is to actually be with the person. But i have to admit i have fallen in love with someone over the internet, but it hurts so bad not being able to be near them.

    What you guys think about it? What's your opinions?
    Last edited by a moderator: Dec 11, 2006
  2. LetItGo

    LetItGo Staff Alumni

    Internet based relationships are becoming increasingly common, and many of them are successful. Why?

    Well because after spending possibly a year talking about everything under the sun you really get to know how somebody thinks, youve traded pictures, and shared family details and so on....youve developed a very strong emotional connection with someone, seen them through some rough times, and shared the good times. Webcams and skype make that connection even more personal than just text on a screen.

    The only thing left is that physical connection, and I guess thats where its make or break.

    When you meet this person will you still be attracted to them physically, what about sexual chemistry? Ive never had a long term internet relationship, but I believe that youll know if its going to work physically for you after a while...

    In short, yes it can work....but only if both parties can accept the limitations of the internet, and are prepared to wait until those limitations no longer exist.

    (P.S Can you imagine the sexual frustration after say 12 months of developing this relationship, lol, umm the first time should move mountains dont ya think? :laugh: )
    Last edited by a moderator: Dec 11, 2006
  3. Sa Palomera

    Sa Palomera Well-Known Member

    I believe in internet love and in internet relationships. Though I also think that depends on the persons themselves.

    Like me, for me it could work, if I really really want to go for it. Especially since sex is of no importance to me. The only physical thing I would really miss is hugging/cuddling up to someone and laying in their arms and all..

    anyway I think it could work, but not if you know that you'd never meet.
  4. Terry

    Terry Antiquities Friend Staff Alumni

    Have to agree with MJ on this one, no reason it shouldn't be stronger in a way than normal relationships. For one thing you feel freer to really say how you feel..none of that being on your best behaviour shit that goes on in normal dating.
  5. Marshmallow

    Marshmallow Staff Alumni

    Yeah i agree with you all, but the only problem i have would be the trust issue, could you trust what you were being told? trust is a vital part of any kind of relationship, but how could you sustain a relationship if you have no idea what the other person is up to? yeah you maybe able to trust them but i think after some time it would start to bug them, what im trying to say its very easy to hide emotions over the internet.

    To me sex doesn't matter in the slighest, effection can be shown in other ways, but i deffiantly agree that cuddling or hugging someone would be a major thing, it hurts when all i want to do is hug someone and i can't but i think that feeling would be a million stronger if i was in a relationship with that person.

    I think many times it can lead in to both people getting hurt, so why bother getting into something that would end up you just being hurt? I don't think many relationships like that would work unless you felt strongly enough about that person.

    But as i said before a major thing for me would be not being able to hug the person. But it's very easy to fall for someone over the internet. I had and still have very strong feelings for 2 people i know thru the internet. One there is a possiblity that something could happen because he lives not too far away from me but the other, the person i feel very strongly for, i don't think anything would happen, its just too complecated.

    If i was ever in a relationship like that i would try my best to make it work, i wouldn't want it to just end up as both of us being hurt, but i would deffiantly put all my heart into making it work.
  6. ~Nobody~

    ~Nobody~ Well-Known Member

    I have no personal experience of Internet Relationships, persay... But I did get to know my boyfriend entirely online, originally. We were at school together and shared some lessons but we had completely different friendship groups. If we hadn't both been invited into a group conversation on MSN I don't think we'd ever have got together! (And we'll have been together for three years on the 1st of February) :eek:hmy:

    We spoke a lot on MSN for about three months before we ever hung out in real life. And it was another two months after that before we actually got together.

    The Internet is useful for such things, because you feel less shy and more free to discuss things that might be embarrassing or difficult or just silly in person. Of course there's always the fact that people you don't know offline could be lying to you about very important things... but it's up to the individual to assess the risk of this.

    There's no fundamental reason why a relationship that begins online can't work out :smile:.

    PS Vikki, I am very happy for you, falling in love :smile: :hug:.
  7. Marshmallow

    Marshmallow Staff Alumni

    Hehe thanks :shy: just really wish it was that easy :hug:
  8. ~CazzaAngel~

    ~CazzaAngel~ Staff Alumni

    I agree also....because I mean 99% of the people I am closest to are in different states or countries. Ok, I am done now, will take my leave.

    (and that is fact, it just seems easier to share on the computer and after so long, you get to know the person better then most friends you see in real life day to day)
  9. lymeinside

    lymeinside Well-Known Member

    I don't know. I've never been in an internet relationship.

    I suppose it could work if you lived close enough that actually meeting in person occasionally would be a possibility.

    I don't know if I could trust someone that much, though. :eek:
  10. Marshmallow

    Marshmallow Staff Alumni

    If anyone has had an internet relationship, care to post?? One thing i can't my head around is how would it ocme around that you decide to have an relationship, like in life you can take the person out etc. but on the internet :unsure: one of you just say 'lets have a relationship' or what? lol sorry im just a bit confused how you would decide a thing such as that.
  11. Wonderstuff

    Wonderstuff Staff Alumni

    I didn't want to post in here because I thought I was too 'close' to the subject matter :laugh: And, as such, incredibly biased!!
    But since you invited opinions such as mine, I guess that's ok :tongue:

    So. Well, yes, I do think they can work, but as you said, it's wicked hard not having the person there with you. Still, then there's a lot of anticipation about when you finally will meet :) Not to mention you get to know them a lot better without other stuff getting in the way :) Because really, what you do online, all of it requires talking.

    Finally, as for how it happens...well I can't speak for anyone else but it was kind of organic. Like, the friendship...and then stuff happened...and then there were actually texts saying things like "I think this is getting more intense..." and then one I will never forget which said right in the middle, "Love is in the air, no? :tongue: "
    So, yeah. It wasn't planned, it just kind of...happened. But I'm so glad it did :)

    Hope that helps, viks :hug:
  12. Syd

    Syd Guest

    It's a great thing, but probably not the best idea to take an online relationship too seriously. People need to spend a lot of time together in person to see how both feel before any kind of commitment should be made.
  13. I wonder if they really work out, or just disappoint. The ladyfriend I "had" and now finally I'm a bit relieved I no longer have in an "intimate" sense, since we were on-again off-again, she and I are now "somewhat friends". I am now left to my nightmares about a friend of mine who I lost to alcohol, as I wish I had told her how I loved her. :sad:
  14. XXXXX

    XXXXX Antiquities Friend

    Ok then. :blink:

    about 4/5 years ago I was not working for a few months and was spending wayyyyyyyyyy too much time on the Internet. One day I went into an Internet Chat Room (MSN?) just to look around - only 1 person their who was just leaving.

    this person claimed to be a Female Thai University student in her early 20's..........this being the internet I proceeded on the basis that "she" was probably in fact a middleaged Canadian Lumberjack. in high heels :laugh:

    However we both signed up to Messenger (or similar) and spent the best part of 2 months or so "chatting" for many hours a day about everything and nothing.

    Even swapped a couple of letters and photos.

    Although I became convinced she was the young (to me anyway!) Thai woman she claimed to be, this did raise for me a few questions as to why she was spending her time chatting to me. (I do have a few "Trust" issues anyway :biggrin: ).

    It was clearly stated by me at the outset and a few times during that i was not after a G/f (or etc!).........to which she was happy with - basically I put it down to she was quite lonely and shy and was very constrained by her social background (24/7 partying was not on the agenda even if she had wanted to!).........and I was someone to talk to / confide in + being a window onto the world - whilst being "safe" - with of course with any male / female situation their is always the possibility of things developing, no matter how remote or unwanted.

    Looking back, in many respects our "relationship" was however quite intense / deep even though we were not by any normal definition G/f - B/f (and no naked webcams or "anything"!!) - certainly more than "Just mates" - maybe the internet adds different categories of r/t???

    FWIW, long before I met her I had spent a lot of time down in Thailand (hence my curiosity about her / her life) and on my next trip I did meet up with her (and a few of her mates) a couple of times - she was "exactly as she said on the tin" (including the fact that whilst her written english was better than mine - she couldn't / wouldn't speak much English, but a couple of her mates more than made up for this :eek:hmy: ). Of course we drifted away, I kinda got "lost" again down there again that trip - and I figured (correctly!) that the last thing a "Nice" middle class gal like her needed was getting mixed up with yours truly...........but I do now and again wonder how life panned out for her.........

    Not really sure if this is what you wanted to hear............but if you want a relationship.........feel free to move to Thailand and I will write to you :biggrin:
  15. BeenThere

    BeenThere Guest

    middleaged Canadian Lumberjack. in high heels........lol...wait a min....hey!
  16. XXXXX

    XXXXX Antiquities Friend

    Not to say I have anything against middleaged canadian lumberjacks - with or without dresses...........:biggrin: (note to myself - seek therapy for disturbing mental images :eek:hmy: :biggrin: )

    But this being the internet and all............I tend to adopt the approach of accepting folk at face value, but not beleiving a word of it. and questionning ANYTHING that could cost be financially and / or emotionally - or otherwise.

    Trust issues - I have a few - but too few to mention :biggrin:

    PS today I got mistaken for Brad Pitt :cool: Honest :tongue:
  17. BeenThere

    BeenThere Guest

    Lol i agree with you....i had a friend i used to talk to over the internet all the time....she sent me pics i sent her mine.About a month into the friendship she told me that wasnt really her but a friend of hers.I can understand a person not feeling good about the way one looks but meh i dunno i sort of lost my train of thought lol
  18. XXXXX

    XXXXX Antiquities Friend

    I would never do that :smile:

    Here is me:-


    :biggrin: :biggrin: :biggrin:

    Actually this does bear a passing resembalance.............even if (only??!) I say so myself:cool:
    Last edited by a moderator: Feb 2, 2007
  19. BeenThere

    BeenThere Guest

    lol woot! sort of makes me sleepy tho.......i will post one....when i figure out how lol
  20. poison

    poison Well-Known Member

    If any of you know, I have a *huge* buddy on the internet. His name is JJ, and he is seriously one of my best friends. I've known him for going on three years and he is like a best friend to me, he's about 19. If it wasn't for him I'm not sure if I'd be here. I think this proves relationships, romantic and friendly, are totally possible but not as good as person-to-person interaction, in my opinion.

    When I first met and started going out with my girlfriend of 2 months, Skyler, we talked a lot on the phone and internet, and thats how we learned about each other. This made us closer in real life and made communicating easier, but she lives in my area. But I have to say, their is a huge physical element in relationships. Cuddling and hugging can make you feel so warm, safe, peaceful, and happy with your significant other. So, while their are pros to con to internet dating, their are pros and cons to everything. I choose real life over internet though.
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