Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by Aquariamethystea, Mar 2, 2007.

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  1. Can I even call it a relationship? I wonder why this is happening to me. Why is it that when I try to love someone, when I try to help, it fails. Almost everything I do lately seems to fail. The one real relationship I am involved in, is failing also, and this has been the most important aspect of my life. I want to make her happy. Yet, when I try to, I get scolded, then I am put through fear that if I screw up again, she'll leave me. Meanwhile, I'd rather her leave me, so I can die. Why is that? Why would I rather die than try to be in a relationship? I think it's because I hate failing. I'd rather die than fail again. Everything in my life seems to be the way it is in order to prove to me how miserable my existance in this world is. Every rejection, every neglect, every failure, leading me to my ultimate decision. Hopefully at that, I won't fail. Goodbye.
    Last edited: Mar 2, 2007
  2. Allo..

    Allo.. Well-Known Member

    I really hope this all works out for you hun..
  3. ~PinkElephants~

    ~PinkElephants~ Senior member

    Keep the faith that the relationship will work, i remember tlaking to you and you were so happy..i hope it all works out.
  4. Terry

    Terry Antiquities Friend Staff Alumni

    Oh man, you've been so happy, hated reading this :sad: Keep trying Kurt it was making you happy keep at it.
  5. ~CazzaAngel~

    ~CazzaAngel~ Staff Alumni

    Awww Kurt. I am sorry you are having all this trouble with the relationship. But I want you to know you are NOT a failure. Just because something doesn't work out doesn't mean you are a failure or it's even your fault. What happend hun? I thought you were going to Canada... I hope you are ok, AND I HOPE YOU ARE STAYING SAFE. I would miss you if I was gone, hun.. :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: Please know I care, you're my friend... you can talk to me anytime and about anything, you know that. :cheekkiss
  6. Now, it's Friday evening, I'm sitting here wondering what will happen tonight when she is online.
  7. MrDepressed

    MrDepressed Guest

    I find relationships to be the most difficult thing in this life.. always have.. I sure hope you are able to make peace with this..
  8. At this point, peace is standing on the beach alongside the ocean, feeling the breeze of the wind flowing through my hair, while noticing I'm standing in one position without falling down, without the use of a cane. Then, turning around to see a beautiful woman who loves me tell me that she accepts me for who I am, without any weird conditions and restrictions. This peace, which isn't possible in this world, at least not for me.
  9. Wow, that almost makes me want to cry. :sad:
  10. Sa Palomera

    Sa Palomera Well-Known Member

    Kurt, I know we haven't spoken in ages, and the other day you were in chat but I couldnt access chat or anything. I'm sorry we haven't spoken for so long. KNow that I still care about you, heaps and heaps! I miss talking to you, my friend.

    Please don't go to Island, Kurt. Try and make this relationship work, you were so happy.

    Here for you,
    Est xxx
  11. Jodi

    Jodi Staff Alumni

    what a beautifull place.....nothing is impossible in life....I believe in miracles...all things work out for the best.....I do hope this dream comes true for you...and until then you have us to lean on......take good care...
  12. Loyalty is also very important in a relationship. Especially when one or both people in the relationship are suicidal. A person shouldn't say to the other that they are breaking up with them because the other is suicidal, or that they aren't "right" for a relationship. Suicidal people have feelings and deserve to be loved, even if the other person is suicidal, in fact, better that they be together to try to work through it together, rather than alone.
  13. Sa Palomera

    Sa Palomera Well-Known Member

    true that, Kurt. But also you have to take into consideration that some people can't deal with people who are suicidal/depressed. And I guess it's better to be honest then, rather than lying about it, right?
  14. If a person can't cope with the other person being suicidal, in a relationship, they ought to inform them about it before they fall too deeply in love with each other, or at least before the suicidal person falls in love.
  15. Sa Palomera

    Sa Palomera Well-Known Member

    ok good point, there

    :hug: Kurt
  16. Esmeralda

    Esmeralda Well-Known Member

    True, assuming that the other person in the relationship knows that his/her partner is actually suicidal. I can imagine that it makes the other person feel somewhat "worthless", thinking, "Why am I not enough of a reason for him/her to live if he/she really loves me"? And some irresponsible people might actually think that they can "reform" the suicidal person with attention and love, thereby validating their own insecurities. But if you are candid about your suicidal feelings, then it is foolishness for someone to think that they can FIX it with love or attention. Hopefuland well-intended, but ultimately ill-conceived.
  17. Love can improve a person from suicidal feelings. For one month, I was improved, until a few days ago when she broke up with me, now I'm feeling worse than ever, and I have continued to feel worse since, hopefully not bad enough where I'm gone, but it is getting close. There isn't enough loyalty in this world.
  18. Sa Palomera

    Sa Palomera Well-Known Member

    don't talk like this Kurt :sad:

    I'm here for you, email me, whenever :hug:
  19. Esmeralda

    Esmeralda Well-Known Member

    But that love is only treating the symptoms of your depression, not the cause. If you are going to spiral downward every time something goes wrong with a girlfriend or boyfriend, that is putting a LOT of pressure on the relationship that it might not be able to handle. Especially if your partner is also going through a tough time or is heartbroken. How can you give them what they need emotionally if it always comes back to you? Love is definitely a give and take, and sometimes we need to remember that our partner might need a shoulder too.
  20. You are correct, Peanut. People in relationships should work out problems with each other, give and take. The problem wasn't that we weren't there for each other during the relationship. The problem is that she broke up with me when she decided not to work through our issues during the relationship anymore. This hurts so much, which is why I think people should be more loyal people before they get involved in relationships. Loyalty is very important.
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