Discussion in 'Family, Friends and Relationships' started by cult logic, Mar 13, 2009.

  1. cult logic

    cult logic Staff Alumni

    Well, I am now 16, and I have never had a girlfriend.

    This is obviously not normal, and I aim to remedy this!

    Now, I am not unattractive(at least to my knowledge, is it strange to think you're hot?), but I can't seem to work up the courage to ask a girl out.

    I know that if I asked a girl out quite a few would go with it.

    However, whenever in social situations I get nervous and can't think straight.

    How can I get over this fear of asking girls out?
  2. christian_1990

    christian_1990 Well-Known Member

    being 16 never having a girlfriend before is completly normal trust me it is.
    dont compare your self with other people...if other ppl at age of 16 had 2,4 or 10 girlfriends/boyfriends thats their problem. now about the courage thing...relax, have a good time when u r in social situations, girls of ur age enjoy chating about dumb things....and if it helps....most of the over-confident popular guys who know how to atract girls...just lie and tell them what they want to hear to get them in bed.

    what do girls wants? not even them know...just make friends and the relathionships and sex will come.
  3. cult logic

    cult logic Staff Alumni

    I'm not really at the point of trying to get in a girl's pants yet.

    I just need to conquer my fear of talking to them.

    If I can figure that out, the rest would progress naturally.

    However I think the first step won't come naturally.
  4. Acy

    Acy Mama Bear - TLC, Common Sense Staff Member Safety & Support

    What if you started by with the girl in person for a while to get to know her a bit and feel more comfortable with her...and then use the telephone to ask her out? If you ask over the phone, you could write down what you'd like to say and use your notes if you get a bit nervous.

    BTW, I think it's common for a 16-year-old not to have gone out with someone yet. People vary and start dating/going out at different ages. I'm sure you'll start when the time is right for you. :wink:
  5. endlessskies58

    endlessskies58 Well-Known Member

    everyone gets nervous before asking someone out. so you are just going to have to try and see what happens. and if they reject, its no big deal. especially being male, you are going to have to accept that you aren't going to win them all.

    i've been approached more than once by many guys and i didn't reject them because of their looks or who they were. sometimes it's not you. for a long time i just couldn't get over my ex and that stopped me. all i would think about is him... even now i still have trouble with other guys even touching me because they aren't my ex...

    and now i'm finding that i'm just trying to be single and happy.

    you need to be healthy by yourself to have a happy healthy relationship and i know that right now i need to work on myself... even though i liked some of the guys, i knew that if i went out with them then i would just break their heart. and after having my heart broken... i would never wish that on anyone! it hurts way too much...

    don't look for a girlfriend because you're lonely, because you are 16 and you think you need one, or because it will make you feel more masculine or like you have become more of a man. love is so much stronger when it happens for the right reasons. so i guess what i'm saying is don't worry about relationships right now. love will find you when you are ready. or not ready... it always happens when you aren't looking... believe me i know haha

    i send my love <3
  6. cult logic

    cult logic Staff Alumni

    Well the other thing is I'm not really after a relationship out of loneliness, or a want of love, etc.

    I want to fool around and have fun without much commitment in relationships while it is still appropriate to be doing so. Love is something I'll worry about when I'm older(don't want to rush that sort of thing).

    So as douchey as it may sound at this point in my life I'm really more after the novelty aspect of it.

    Anyway, I sit next to a rather attractive girl in one of my classes and am concocting a plan to be put in effect on Monday.

    I guess in the end it will just be one of those "just ask her out" situations.
  7. bluebird002

    bluebird002 Active Member

    I echo that it's pretty common for people to not have had a relationship before 16. It's much too early to state that it's not normal. anyway, good luck.
  8. Summer.Rain

    Summer.Rain Well-Known Member

    The first g\f i had it was only after i turned 20...
    And 1 tip to help you getting started, when you think about dating
    with a girl, dont think about big words like "relationship"
    Start with a freand, a freand that is a girl, not a g\f!
    From there wrok your way to undarstand girls better
    eventualy you will know enough to go on to relationship
  9. flowerpot

    flowerpot Well-Known Member

    excuse me, i don't enjoy chatting about "dumb things" :dry: then again.. i am a bit insane.. :laugh:

    i'm sorry i don't really know how to fix your fear other than just giving it ago, you may as well just try talking to her somehow, it's better than sitting around wondering what could of happened, if it fails then you'll probably get over it in a short time & yeah. goodluck!
  10. LastCrusade

    LastCrusade Well-Known Member

    you dont simply ask a girl out unless you have befriended her. So perhaps you can get to know them as friends first then once all of u get to know each other better, you can ask them to go for a movie. One step at a time. If you were to suddenly ask a girl out without really knowing her, naturally, she would back off and you'd end up embarassed.
  11. cult logic

    cult logic Staff Alumni

    Well naturally. I would be pretty weirded out by such a situation where I didn't know someone.

    I've sat next to this girl all year, so naturally we have chit-chatted about stuff on a frequent basis.

    I wouldn't say we're friends, but I know her well enough to perhaps be considered more of an aquaintanceship.
  12. cult logic

    cult logic Staff Alumni

    Well, tomorrow's the day I will hopefully talk to this girl.

    Time to get some sleep.
  13. Zurkhardo

    Zurkhardo Well-Known Member

    Good luck my friend! And way to go :)