Relationships?

Discussion in 'Mental Health Disorders' started by lachrymose27, May 7, 2010.

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  1. lachrymose27

    lachrymose27 Well-Known Member

    I know it is useless to pursue a relationship though I feel I need one now. But when you're a man with a useless degree and a shitty retail job, I don't see the point in pursuing anything until being well-off. Huh.. I guess I'm just having a bad night... Haven't been hanging out with my very scarce buddies. Facebook activity is Nil. Waiting to work this friday and saturday. Wanting again to just end it all. After all, I don't know how else I can get better. Clock is ticking.
     
  2. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    get out meet people with your own interest join a group an activity anything to get you to meet new people okay always people out there to meet
     
  3. perry_mason

    perry_mason Well-Known Member

    i aggreee people like you when you havemoney but when you dont nobody is tghere for you.

    but you have a degfree and a retail job thats more than ive got.
    you have facebook and buddies i dotnt.
    use these thigns to your advantage and meet pepeople throught the stuff you have.
     
  4. Forgotten_Man

    Forgotten_Man Well-Known Member

    I kind of feel the same way. My one buddy would rather be with her boyfriend. My other "buddy" refuses to meet me, and avoids almost all forms of communication with me. I am too weak and stupid to form any kind of relationship. So I just give up... not exactly what you want to hear but it is what is happening.
     
  5. Mystic

    Mystic Well-Known Member

    There is a counter arguement here. Money is not a real issue for me and I am totally friendless (always have been) and relationships is something that only happens to other people.

    I have spent serious amounts on clubs, societies, useless hobbies, classes and whatever. Even dating agencies once (to my bitter regret). And after all that, after all this time, nothing has changed for me.

    I am living proof people couldn't give a shit if you have money or not.
     
  6. Theseus

    Theseus Well-Known Member

    Well, I come from somewhere where it's a bit hard to form romantic relationships. So you can't just freely "meet people" with the expectation of doing so.
    Apart from that, I have way too many issues. Money is one of them, yes. Basically, it's a mess. I've long since accepted it.
     
  7. silent_enigma

    silent_enigma Well-Known Member

    You don't want a woman that wants you for your money.
     
  8. lachrymose27

    lachrymose27 Well-Known Member

    how do you find relationships when the opportunity was missed during school and you've already graduated? where do people with little to no friends and or with social incapabilities go to find themselves a meaningful relationship? i can't think of anything besides workplace and online dating services... probably the best way is through mutual friends, thats if you have any...
     
  9. jabooty

    jabooty Banned Member

    men/women typically like you for who you are and not what you really have. The ones that are worth dating anyway.

    try online dating! sounds like you may have already. But facebook, wont cut it. And free sites are usually a waste of time. The pay sites however, hey if ppl have to pay, they are going to be serious about and chances are you wont run into fake profiles. Ive done it many of times, and it does work. Too much of it is no good tho...and if you dont settle into a relationship take a break for a while and try it again, possibly on another site. btw one of the last times I did this...was not too long ago, when I didnt even have a car, let alone a job. I told her all about it the first time I talked to her. Figured i had nothing to loose. Her response, I dont care about any of that and she would always throw her car keys for me to drive her around. My dumb ass screwed that all up...but that was because I wasnt fully over my ex and should have never been back in the dating scene to begin with.

    ive telecommuted for a very long time. My social structure pretty mcuh broke down because of it. Sometimes I would go out and would be pretty aggressive about it. I would just bite my tounge about being afraid and just go up to girls and talk to them, no matter how scared I was. Usually its better if you have a wingman/wingwoman...but online dating takes that out of the mix and you can take your time and find the person thats right for you.
     
  10. asking_advice

    asking_advice Well-Known Member

    your lucky that you graduated in college and have work. other dont have. i think you are just having a bad night
     
  11. lachrymose27

    lachrymose27 Well-Known Member

    I think have a legitimate depression disorder. i'll never be lucky until i'm rid of depression. i hope you don't think graduating from college and with a part-time job means anythin, people are sad for different reasons :sheep2:
     
  12. KittyGirl

    KittyGirl Well-Known Member

    You know... most of the people I know have useless degrees, or wasted their time at uni/college only to work in retail or fast food. Loads of them are in relationships- it's not about how established you are.

    I never cared about money- but *he* did, and that was the problem most of the time. There really *are* ways for a person to not be miserable when they don't have lots of money. It's possible.
    It's also very possible for people with retail jobs to get girlfriends.
     
  13. PollyAnna

    PollyAnna Account Closed

    if i were part of your age group, i'd date u :) your job or degree does not amuse me. your personality does :) If a girl cares too much for your job or degree, then it's not worth it. they should be able to accept u for who you are! =-)
     
  14. lachrymose27

    lachrymose27 Well-Known Member

    its funny that you should say that because you don't even know what kind of personality i have... lol

    i don't think a person would date a miserable (downer) person. but if this person has a job, then the chances of that person dating this person would increase... sure its not about the money, but if you take personality into account, if the personality isn't liked, at least you can fall back on this persons "resourcefulness"
     
  15. PollyAnna

    PollyAnna Account Closed

    <mod edit: *sparkle*: insulting> if your personality is the reason why ur not getting girls, then change it. here i am willing to date u,
    and you're refusing my nicety.
     
    Last edited by a moderator: May 22, 2010
  16. KittyGirl

    KittyGirl Well-Known Member

    From my experience; being in a relationship takes effort from both sides. Not only effort, but compromise; which could very well mean change. If you're not willing to try changing your attitude just a little bit, then sure-- maybe no one will date you.

    It is so simple to make small changes though.
    A bunch of small changes equal big change - and it doesn't mean you aren't 'being yourself', you are a happier and more settled version of yourself.
     
  17. yous

    yous Well-Known Member

    I know for me its impossible to have a relationship now with anyone even just friends. I seem to have this mortal enemy motif in my life where virtually every person I meet flakes out on me or just doesn't want anything to do with me. I am usually this kind and fun person, but I don't know what it is. If it's not me, it's them. But why do I keep meeting THOSE type of people then? Geez there sure a lot of jerks around. Ok so if it's not them, I can't see if its me. Because there is nothing I do or say that drives them away. I just don't see why people don't need other people in their life that cares like I do. It's not worth my time and effort anymore. I guess I'll always be alone.
     
  18. Kugatsu

    Kugatsu Active Member

    This is exactly the same situation and belief that I have, except that you graduated college and I burned out like the Hindenburg.

    I'm stuck in a horrible retail job with no advancement too, and since I'm on this board, I also don't exactly have the greatest of belief in myself which I guess in the end, even if I don't show it, will leak through and turn every possibility I could have had away.

    I haven't had a girlfriend since I was 14 and I've watched everyone else succeed in their sex lives, have long lasting relationships and every girl I become interested in ALWAYS have their own boyfriends. I'm in a horrible place and all I want is someone to just stand by me since all of my "friends" have turned their backs on me. I don't have any kind of advice to offer you or anyone else, I guess I'm just here to say that your not alone in your position or sentiments.
     
  19. yous

    yous Well-Known Member

    @Kugatsu

    I too am going down like the Hindenburg. Just because I graduated from college doesn't mean I have this amazing life now. The fact I did even bother and the degree became useless is more pathetic. People often ask me, "so what do you do?" How can I possibly answer that? I lie. I try to make myself look good. At least you got a job. However it may be, I went from job to job all being internships or volunteer level, never moving up, never going anywhere.

    All jobs, and I do mean all I had were just sitting there, bored as Hell, with no work to do. I would try so hard to be active and talk, but everyone is like Scrooge, Egotistical, and ungiving. How is someone suppose to grow? How do people do it? I have come to a point (sorry for ranting), where people only get advanced if they have sex with them or pay there way to the top. I mean if its difficult for a lot of us, then how do people succeed? Because it does happen!

    At least you had a girlfriend. Me? I never had one date in my life. The last guy who liked me was in junior high, and I screwed that up miserably because I was young and stupid. So now I'm cursed with a lonely, pathetic life.

    You are not alone and thank you greatly for making me feel a bit better.
     
  20. lachrymose27

    lachrymose27 Well-Known Member

    Ugh, internships, even though they usually suck, i can't get one now because i'm not a student anymore
     
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