This is one factor of why I am am suicidal. A while ago, my grandfather passed away. He was in his 90's. Yeah I know what you're thinking, he was old, so he probably had it coming. I guess that makes sense but somehow, I didn't see that coming. Heres the bad part. When I visited his home (actually my aunts home. She took care of him) my nephew would always be there. He was playful and active so I spent a lot of time with him. However, when he passed away, I realized how much time I spent time with him. Maybe 2 minutes at most. I can't even remember if I did spend time with him at all. My point is I regret never doing anything with him. I knew him all my life and did nothing. Now that he is gone, I wish I could just go back in time, and tell myself to atleast just spend one day with him. He was very religious and kind toward everyone. At the funeral, I tried to hold in my tears of why I did nothing, however I could only do so for so long... This is a major part of my suicidal thoughts. I'd say about 1/3 of the reason.