Am sick and tired of feeling down. It never goes away and never will. I throw myself into work every day and give my all, but in the background is the fog of unhappiness; the demon that never leaves, despite the peaks of achievement and ecstasy of bringing happiness to friends and colleagues. Yes, I am one of those who thrives on bringing a smile to those around me. Does that make me selfish for needing the gratification that brings? Probably, and I apologise for the self-centred focus of my message. So,thats me. Self hate. Who am I? An individual with absolute, and I mean absolute, hatred of oneself. I detest myself with an absolute passion, and it never seems to end. It never stops It never stops It never stops It never ever ever stops. I do not have a solution and have no idea how to stop my head speeding from one thing to another. It just will not stop and after so many years shows no sign of abating. If anything the intensity seems to escalate. The depression is fairly controllable usually, unfortunately the increasing intensity makes one feel more and more susceptible to violence towards onself. Sorry but that is the way it is.