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religious parents

Discussion in 'Family, Friends and Relationships' started by Lux, Jan 25, 2015.

  1. Lux

    Lux Well-Known Member


    I rarely make posts, but I don't really know what else to do at this point.
    I've been with my girlfriend officially for almost 6 months now, but we've been really, really close friends for years. She hasn't gotten on with her parents since she "came out" about 7 years ago, but still sends them birthday/christmas gifts in the post, despite not hearing back from them or getting anything in return, but recently, her mum's been diagnosed with heart conditions (I'm not exactly sure what) and has been spending time in hospital and has given my girlfriend opportunities to build bridges with them, but this means, not dating women, so, me.

    I haven't heard from her properly since she told me this (about 3-4 months ago), so I'm not sure what's happening.
    I'm concerned for her wellbeing, but I also feel like I'm at the end of my tether just hanging here. I'm doing my best to be supportive and have told her that she can come to me any time she needs me and I'll be there, but it's starting to get to me.

    This is probably more of a rant
    I feel so alone, like I have no one to talk to
    sorry for splurging
  2. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Member Safety & Support SF Supporter

    Hi Lux, it's most likely she wants to talk to you but feels her loyalty lies with her family. I can't imagine how difficult this must be for you or her. Is her mom terminally ill? I do wish you the best and hope she comes round or even or parents to come round.
  3. Lux

    Lux Well-Known Member

    Thank you for the reply,

    I'm not even sure to be honest. I have text a couple of times to ask how she is and if there's anything I can do, but I guess I'm a big part of the problem. I understand that blood's thicker than water, and I don't want to cause any more problems than there already are, and if her mum is terminally ill, I want there to be at least peace before anything happens,
    but I think I'm just selfishly feeling frustrated with it when I should be concentrating on making it as easy as possible for her I guess.
    I'm just not sure what to do or how to feel at the moment.
  4. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Member Safety & Support SF Supporter

    I do not think selfish is the right word. I can tell you want to help her but she's probably been forbidden to see you/talk to you. In time she will make her own mind up and own beliefs and if it is meant to happen it will.
    I can't imagine the stress you are going through now but you are not selfish. And we are here to support you through this.
  5. Lux

    Lux Well-Known Member

    Thank you for your support and responses, I really appreciate it <3
  6. scaryforest

    scaryforest Banned Member

    hi, lux
    i hope clarity comes soon. and that you have patience to endure
    what did you say in the texts?
    maybe ask her to tell you just yes or no sort of thing
    bc you deserve to know
  7. stapleremover

    stapleremover Chat Buddy

    I'm really sorry you're going through this and it breaks my heart that there's still so much prejudice against same-sex relationships that it causes such rifts within families. But you're not being selfish, and three months is a pretty long time to not hear from someone regardless of what they're dealing with at home. It's admirable that you want to do the right thing and respect your girlfriend's time with her mother, but it sounds like your efforts might not be appreciated as much as they should be. I would think about whether this situation is ultimately fair to you, and whether or not you want to be in a serious relationship with anyone who would fail to communicate with you in any meaningful way regardless of the circumstances. My fingers are crossed for all of you. And I hope you end up in a relationship that makes you as happy as you deserve to be.
  8. Bert29

    Bert29 Account Closed

    Ask her what she wanna do with your relationship, you deserve to know, it's hard waiting for something that has no clarification. I'll just wish you the best.