Reliving Abuse

Discussion in 'Midnight Owl' started by jack, Jul 29, 2009.

Thread Status:
Not open for further replies.
  1. jack

    jack Member

    I had a dream about a week ago and it's kinda thrown me for a loop. Part of why I'm here, most likely.

    I was sexually abused when I was a kid by a female cousin 3 years older than me. Several times for about 2 years. Now I'm all messed up about sex & relationships and all that "stuff."

    So in my dream I was sitting on a couch, and she was sitting on the couch a little ways away from me. We're both adults here, not reliving childhood stuff. Anyway, she wanted me to come close to her. I didn't want to, but I felt powerless to say no. I laid my head on her leg, and she started cuddling me. I felt this amazingly peaceful and pleasurable warmth overcome my body, and I was terrified. Terrified because I knew it was sick and wrong and that I was setting back my recovery. But it felt really good, like exactly what I needed.

    I hate myself. I wish I was dead.
     
  2. yursomedicated

    yursomedicated Chat & Forum Buddy

    You can't help what happened in a dream. So don't blame yourself for it.

    I would talk to someone, maybe it will help.

    I'm all ears if you need someone. :]

    Feel better. <3
     
Thread Status:
Not open for further replies.