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Remorse or regret?

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#1
What do we choose here?
Do we avoid certain opportunities in life through fear of failure, heartache and loss OR do we take them on in the knowledge that we will ALL probably make mistakes?
Is it better to say sorry and to learn from it, or is it better to just not do it in the first place.............and just not learn.......................
 
#2
Thats another million dollar question and depending on the day I'd probably give you different answers.

My answer today, a logical and un-emotional one, its better to learn and say sorry if its necessary. I would, today, take on something fully knowing in the back of my mind that at some point I will mess something up (and being okay with that fact).

But when I do mess it up, then I'll be kicking myself if its a bad day.

Fear of failure is a huge thing for me, personally. Perhaps its more of a desire not to look like an ass doing something or trying something!

But I also think we all learn things every day, we need to be open to that to grow as human beings.

Gosh - hope this makes sense!!
 

DawnB

Well-Known Member
#3
It's something I've been thinking about as well. I think learning from your mistakes and dealing with it is hard especially if the consequences end up severe and almost permanent. If there is a chance that something good comes out of it, then it would be easier for me anyway to learn from it.
 

Axiom

Account Closed
#4
What do we choose here?
Do we avoid certain opportunities in life through fear of failure, heartache and loss OR do we take them on in the knowledge that we will ALL probably make mistakes?
Is it better to say sorry and to learn from it, or is it better to just not do it in the first place.............and just not learn.......................
idk.. stopping yourself all the time doesn't let you have the opportunity to grow from your own failings and successes. Not trying stops you from letting that possibility that you can do it show, when you thought it wasn t ever possible. Im terrified of failing that I dont let myself care about anything, so I dont try, because I know Ill fail. But im starting to think that i probably feel this way because I gave up and give up too easily instead of going forward. Just blows when the track record behind u is all failures. But.. idk, id rather do it than not, if I wanted to do something and believed in it. Either that or just give up completely. I know how hard it can be to open up and go for something though, and end up... devastated. Easy to say keep going for it, but i think.. if it means something to you, it's worth it.
 

chjones21

Well-Known Member
#5
I agree with axiom - I desperately try to avoid failure but the way I go about it is more likely to bring failure about. That is if I am worried I will fail at something, I will only half-try ... so that if I do fail, I can lie to myself that it wasn't 'me' failing at it (and my ego can protect its fragile sense of esteem) but the fact that I didn't really bother. That if I had genuinely tried of course I would have succeeded. It is such a daft way to approach things ---- not trying properly for fear of failing and the consequent ego bash, I am trying to change it.

When one has a fragile ego, it has quite a grip on ones actions!
 
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