Reoccurring 'Dream'..

Discussion in 'Midnight Owl' started by The_Infected, Sep 1, 2012.

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  1. The_Infected

    The_Infected Active Member

    I haven't slept in so long because of this.

    For the past week I've been having this.. dream. I can't even call it a dream.

    I see myself. A child, I'm like a ghost watching myself. Everything is going by so quick. It's not just 'anything' that's happening, it's my entire life flashing before me.
    I've relived everything. Being bullied, being beaten, abused thrown around.. I relived my mom's death when I was 9... I relived me beating someone almost to death because I snapped at them.. I've seen everything I've ever done.

    Then it stops suddenly, and I see myself about 25 years old. (I'm only 18 right now) I'm a wreak. I've lost everything and everybody, my cat and my guinea pig (the only things I'm living for) are dead... Everything just stops for a second and I pick up a shotgun...

    I always wake up to that loud blast. And it's not any normal blast, it's as loud as a gun (I go hunting a lot).. I wake up in tears, my ears ringing and my head pounding with pain.

    What's wrong with me.. why am I dreaming this...
  2. Samara

    Samara Account Closed

    I have been responding in dream threads lately, because of some things that I learned from a therapist, who believed that dreams were the minds more indirect way to tell us about our life, or warn us about something, or let us know when we are ready for something.

    One of the very specific things mentioned by this therapist, was that death never actually symbolizes dying itself in terms of the physical state in a dream. In your case, your own death, could mean that if you continue on the path you are on now, you are indirectly killing yourself. It could mean that a lack of change, or a lack of help etc... could end up in a similar situation down the road as your dream describes.

    It could also mean, alternatively, that right now you are killing a part of yourself, that you may need when you are older, when you are around that age as you listed above.

    It is likely your minds' way of trying to tell you that you need to change something, and that otherwise something inside is dying, and you will see how it will harm you in the future. It is likely not meaning that this will be true for you, but rather might be trying to tell you that the events it is reminding you of need to be addressed and are leading to you a place that is not your happiest.

    Is there a conscious worry, perhaps that your life will be in shambles when you are older? Is this perhaps something you worry about when you are awake?

    I suspect that many of the events from your life are flashing back again, to make you see that there is a common theme. They are replaying, because there is something that you missed, something that all of the events together are trying to tell you exists. Something you either are burying, or have missed... and ignoring them, will lead to a death inside of you. Perhaps the death of something you cherish deep inside, maybe your happiness, maybe your peace of mind, maybe your ability to do something. It would mean that you are indirectly taking a gun to that part of yourself, and are allowing it to die, by missing the bigger picture in your own life.

    I hope this helps you to think a bit more about the source of the dream. I hope that it might help to calm you as well.

    I know that dreaming of your own death, let alone by your own hand, is very traumatizing, and vivid to say the very least. It's scary, and probably has made you very anxious. But I believe that your mind is only bringing any of the past up again, in such vivid detail, and giving you an ending; not to scare you, but to try and make you take a look deep inside, and pay attention to something you might be avoiding, or take a look at something you maybe have not grieved; and to search for something that you might have buried and forgotten.

    Once you do that, the dreams will change, and the types of dreams you have will too.
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