report me i don't care

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by noo noo, Jul 28, 2012.

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  1. noo noo

    noo noo Active Member

    Look, i'm a messed up, idiotic, pathetic, low life of a person who does not deserve to live. i went through seven years of domestic violence, have been raped a grand total of 4 times by strangers and thats not counting the nightly occurences by my oh so wonderful ex and his mates. i got dumped at a police station when i was a child and then brought up in care......and i deserved it all. my life is shit (sorry about language), whats the point? Every day i have horrid flash backs and of the nights when i can sleep i have really bad nightmares. i know all this is what i deserve but i cant do this anymore. i know some of you will probably search for my details and try to get the police to turn up at my door, but i would not bother as i will not be there. All this has got to end and it has to be now. Everything is sorted, bills paid, house all clean and tidy for the next people, so all that was left was to write this. i wish you all the best in life and pray that one day you are all happy, take care of yourselves
    Last edited by a moderator: Jul 28, 2012
  2. Sadeyes

    Sadeyes Staff Alumni

    We usually do not permit posts such as this, but I see you are still online, so I will there anything going on lately to have you feel worse? Have you sought treatment for what you have been through? It sounds like you have had such a rough start and many traumas since then, that it is no wonder that you struggle with these issues. Please tell us what is going on for you
  3. Kiba

    Kiba Well-Known Member

    :( you may feel u deserve hell.. i feel the same too a lot of the time.. i wasn't in foster care all my life but a part of it.. i just want u to know that you don't deserve any of that.. people abused you, treated you wrongly.. you don't control their actions.. and i want u to know i can understand maybe not everything but i can relate a lot to what your saying.. and i know there are also others here who can as well. I would like it if you would stay and maybe talk about it more or find some friends here. You do not deserve this hell but u don't need to die either.. im guessing you have had therapy? I know i did in foster care but i Didnt like it.. no one rly cared.. and it hurt me.. but maybe now it may help if u were to try. Idk. Sorry. I just hope ur alright and feel better :(
  4. noo noo

    noo noo Active Member

    so sorry if i broke the rules, just over ran with the venting. will just keep zipped. sorry
  5. Lps

    Lps Well-Known Member

    Hey Nooo,

    To think that you're alone, or that you deserved it, or that you're not a worthy person...all of that is untrue. Any human being would suffer non-stop with this kind of loop running in your mind...and it's not even based in truth. The truth is that many amazing people have gone through unspeakable sadness. We are all here. The most important thing to do is talk. Just talk. Just begin to speak, and let out some of the pressure.

    There is no such thing as a living being who is a burden. We're all here together. Just talk and let us sit beside you.
  6. noo noo

    noo noo Active Member

    thanks but any time i talk it just causes trouble so i'll keep it all in.....easiest. that way no gets hurt or in trouble
  7. Kiba

    Kiba Well-Known Member

    :( :hug: u need somewhere to let out.. we r here.. holding it in will only make it worse.. maybe u could find someone here u can talk to in pm or something? Or the member journals sometimes help.. but u can't hold it all in :( its not good.. :hug:
  8. meaningless-vessel

    meaningless-vessel Well-Known Member

    There is a massive boost in this peer to peer site being that a number of members will understand parts of what you are going through. Understanding is a key thing in these circumstances, and I've managed to get people talking when ther to keep it all in. We aren't docs or therapists, we can advise that you try andseek some form of help if required
  9. Sea Sparkles

    Sea Sparkles Well-Known Member


    I just wanted to point you towards these resources in case things get really bad. Please check these links out; they only take a few minutes:
    Free online crisis chat -

    If you have any bad thoughts of killing yourself right now, I do urge you to call your local police station, a friend/ family member or a therapist and explain the feelings, it's not good to keep them bottled up inside. The chat on this site is also very helpful and can get your mind off things. If you can't find any support threw that, please... look at the link's above.

    I'm honestly not sure what I could say to comfort you other then encourage you to seek help, and give you the resources. I'm really sorry that you where abused so many times, and for so long. Things like that can cause PTSD, and are best worked out with a doctor or a therapist - which can help so much

    You have everything sorted, don't throw it all away.

    Posting things like this sometimes makes a whole board feel helpless. I can't help but feel so depressed when reading this. It comes across "hi, I'm killing myself, just telling you all' - when you know their is NOTHING we can do. That feeling could be sever, and triggering to people, as well. We all want you to be safe.

    Please be safe, and look at the links-
    :hug: Sea
  10. Dave_N

    Dave_N Banned Member

    Hi noo noo. The moderators don't like people posting suicide notes, because it might make other people anxious and more suicidal. Please don't take your life. I realize from your post, that you have experienced a lot of physical, emotional and sexual trauma in your life, but there is still hope. Pray to God for help and guidance. If you take your life, then the people who have harmed you will have won. Don't let them win. You can overcome this. :hug:
  11. WldHair

    WldHair Well-Known Member

    Noo Noo, please check in and let us know you're all right.


    Okay, with that said very loudly, I want to let you know that we are here for you and will listen to you. Although we are not counselors and professionals, I would urge you to see one because you need someone who is experienced with handling victims of trauma to help you through this. Often victims feel that they deserved their fate or events were the result of their fault, but that isn't the case. These people broke the law, these people abused you. They are the ones who deserve to be punished for it, not you. So please, sending you light and love, please let us know you're all right and continue speaking with us.
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