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Respect - can it save my life? Yours, perhaps?

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by Crashland, Dec 8, 2011.

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  1. Crashland

    Crashland Well-Known Member

    Feeling very, very down again. Want to finish it all.

    This is not new by any means. I know I do not want to die - gosh; I despise suicide, I'm scared of hell but life feels so utterly and inevitably miserable and I feel forced to quit.

    It occured to me today that I should entirely and unconditionally give up any hope of happiness. It will never happen.

    However I can still aspire to be respected. By friends, colleagues, my own good self.

    Perhaps this is the way forward.

    Any thoughts?

  2. 1Lefty

    1Lefty Well-Known Member

    Yes, there are times that I feel that I will never be happy again. Respect seems a worthwhile goal.
  3. Acy

    Acy Mama Bear - TLC, Common Sense Staff Member Safety & Support

    Crash, yes, respect is a good goal. Start by respecting yourself. It seems to set the tone for how others see us. :dunno:

    And btw, happiness is entirely possible for you...we cannot predict the future, so enjoy what you can in the present. Maybe something will make you laugh today. Maybe a couple of things tomorrow will make you smile. String those little things together and that is how we build happiness. True, they don't take away our external sources of pressure and disappointment (e.g., financial hardship, job we don't like), but they do give us a chance to believe that there are good things in the world. Little steps, I guess. :)
  4. Sadeyes

    Sadeyes Staff Alumni

    I think self respect is the most critical, as is self compassion, and yes, that is a way to pay it forward...modeling these attributes can clearly help another
  5. Crashland

    Crashland Well-Known Member

    Dear Acy,

    thanks ever so much for your post, I appreciate it very much, however I cannot refrain from expressing how baffled I am by your suggestion that a string of odd daily giggles is equal to happiness.

  6. ZasuArt

    ZasuArt Well-Known Member

    First, Crash, I'm sorry that you are suffering. I think aiming first for self-respect, (and as Sadeyes suggested) self-compassion, sounds like a very logical and positive step in the right direction.

    I do have to stand up for Acy, though. She also deserves respect and compassion. We're all doing the best we can here. And honestly, she was only trying to make the point that you don't have to give up on happiness if there is still a part of you that wants it. Maybe those little moments of joy and laughter don't add up for you in the same way they do for her. Her thought process may not have struck a chord with you, and that's OK (no one is forcing you to take her advice), but don't attack her for trying to reach out and give you a little hope. I'm not trying to aggravate you or start an argument. I don't get the feeling that you were going full-on for the throat with your response. I just think Acy deserved better than the way you responded.
  7. Crashland

    Crashland Well-Known Member

    Dear Zasu and Acy,

    I'm terribly sorry if my reply read as insensitive or abrupt. I can honestly say I had no such intention whatsoever.

    I realize that I have certain problems with interaction and I do not always recognize that I might have been unpleasant or even aggressive on occasions. Acy, thanks ever so much for your suggestion and please accept my apologies for my reaction.

  8. ZasuArt

    ZasuArt Well-Known Member

    ((Crash))...Well I'm now feeling a bit guilty too for scolding you! I also could have been a touch more sensitive in my wording. Just wanted to offer my thoughts and suppport both you and Acy in the moment, but I think I came across as finger wagging, which is really the last thing any of us needs. We all learn from each other sometimes, don't we? :hug:
  9. Crashland

    Crashland Well-Known Member

    You're good, Zasu :)

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