Discussion in 'I Have a Question...' started by BlondRedHead, Aug 7, 2009.

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  1. BlondRedHead

    BlondRedHead Well-Known Member

    I am so tired of being talked down to by my family!!! I have been doing really good about not letting them get to me but the last few days it's just been building. My brother thinks he is Gods gift to the fucking universe and I am tired of it. Stupid things become huge because he can't keep HIS big mouth shut and if I respond he screams at me for always having to make a comment... It's like being hit over and over and when you block it or hit back they keep hitting you more until you stop. I have a chair in the loft, he always sits back in it with his legs up and I watched him break it last week. Last night I sat down and it fell backwards, totally broken so I worked on it for like 20 minutes and it was fine. He comes home today and sits in his, puts his legs up and it collapses again. He starts screaming at me, wakes me up (I have been working a graveyard shift and he wakes me up for this BS). I went down stairs to ask him if he sat in it funky again and he starts yelling at me, "Fuckin bitch I already asked you, I didn't do shit I just sat down, you don't fuckin listen!" I am like, "Dude hold up, I am asking because..." and he cuts me off again so I am like fine, whatever. I ask him why his gf has called the house like 10 times this morning and he snaps again, did u ask how many times she called? I say ya and he asks why I am being a bitch today, lol. He mocks me for the job I got, says I am still a loser and even though I got a job I should get one that matters like him. I hate him, he is so mean and rude for no fucking reason and if I go to anyone they feel the need to talk to him and it just gets worse. When he went to Iraq my younger sister told him she hoped he would die there and not come home, that is how mean he is.

    He is the only son so my parents bitch about him when he is gone but if he is around they follow him like puppies. They let him get away with way too much and bond with him by bashing others.

    I hate my family sometimes you know. I hate being a punching bag.
  2. BlondRedHead

    BlondRedHead Well-Known Member

    I am still dealing with him yelling. He is playing some game and yelling. My mom called and is like, what did you do to make him angry? WTF?

    Being a good person gets me squat, I'm going to start being a bitch.

    My head is killing me, my chest hurts and I feel down down down. Everyone dies, nobody cares.
  3. Sadeyes

    Sadeyes Staff Alumni

    I would not take to heart what your brother says (easier said than done, I know) because he has real issues about power and status...he sounds like such an enraged, sad person...sorry he has to take it out on your best and know that it is HIS STUFF not yours...big hugs, J
  4. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    You deserve respect but i think your brother is too angry right now He has something hurting him and yes these are his issues not yours. I would hope you could just stay clear of him don't converse with him unless he is civil and respectful. Let him know that you will not tolerate his behavior anymore and just walk away ignore him. Put a lock on your bedroom door if need be He will grow up some day.
  5. Mikeintx

    Mikeintx Well-Known Member

    Nothin a can of gasoline and a match can't fix :hug:
  6. Axiom

    Axiom Account Closed

    Thought of moving out and into your own place? Maybe drastic I suppose, but at the end of the day, it's 10 times more difficult and slower when you are batteling people in your home.

    This might sound off, have you tried talking to your brother about him? Or maybe about how he makes you feel? .. though judging by your discription of him that and with his relationship with your parents, that might be a bad idea, he might just use specifc information about you against you. He definatly needs to be put in his place when it comes to you.

    By the way, with people like that, the more you shift topics, the more enraged they get and the more momentum they get for makeing themselves believe they are in the right. Sticking to your guns about a specific topic helps, but only if you are calm about it yourself, and react to his childish bullyish behavior without being fazed about it. I think he's got to know you know the facts, and are going to state them to him, and no matter how much he wants to yell and verbally abuse you, you won't become emotional. He probably likes the abilty to get a rise out of you. I don't think you'll be able to calm him down, you might just have to keep yourself calm during his temper tantrums.

    Besides that essay above, .. I'm sorry you have to be subjected to that. Try and keep your head up, his inadequices(spelling) are his own, and not yours. :)
  7. rx4brdm

    rx4brdm Well-Known Member

    Don't give him the satisfaction. I got very good at it at a younger age. If you say anything to him you are just fueling the fire.
  8. Axiom

    Axiom Account Closed

    That's what he wants to achieve though, the abilty to walk over people and everyone let him do that. Sitting idle isn't a great idea.
  9. shades

    shades Staff Alumni

    Hi Blond. I'm sorry to hear about the whole situatioin.

    I would try a non-confrontational approach if you haven't already because it sounds like he feeds off of confrontation and it escalates his abusive behaviour.

    Has he always been like this? Is there any possiblity that his tour in Iraq has changed him in some way?

    Take the high ground and stay out of his way until the living arrangements change, assuming they will someday.

    Please pm me if you want to talk or vent.

  10. BlondRedHead

    BlondRedHead Well-Known Member

    Hello all. Thank you for the responses. I was surprised to see a sudden burst of answers back :) Okay, so here is the deal.

    My brother and I used to be BEST FRIENDS. When my parents divorced each kid took a side, my sis took my moms and my brother took my dads. I stayed neutral and that was like the WORST choice because both parents felt I was abandoning them so I didn't have the other to lean on. That and the fact that both my parents are TYPE A, no nonsense, office politic kind of people they don't get along with me. The dreamer, free spirited, poet, swim in your clothes kind of kid. So what happened when I chose not to take sides and love both of them no matter what? My immature parents told their "kid" that I am a flakey, childish, immature, loser and that they (they being the kid that lived with them through the divorce) were amazing and perfect and not to be like their f*** up of a sister, Blondie.

    Fast forward 10 yrs and I guess they got so used to doing it it still goes on. Hell, I owned a house and had a career and my family still talked down to me. Holidays, dinners, birthdays, whatever. The family game is to bash on me. Drives my grandma nuts, she is always defending me. It's bad people, my brother would show up to my place and throw parties while I was at work. In fact I went to a funeral for an old friend and when I came back to town my brother had moved an entire bedroom set into my guest room and claimed it as his own. So when he would come to town every other weekend for his K Days the military, he had a place to crash. THAT is the type of family I have. 21 yrs old and he had so little respect for me he actually did that. I am the ONLY one that has confronted him and called him on his BS and it has started many family feuds and fist fights, believe me. I lost the house and had to move home when I was laid off last year. He got out of the military around the same time and we now live together. I have been on major job hunts for awhile now and I have a couple of part times but nothing substantial enough to live on. I WANT to leave, that's my goal. I'm not into Sadism and being told what a loser I am for being 27 and living at home isn't something I enjoy hearing from all my family every day... which happens over dinner every night.

    I don't feel sorry for myself, not at all. I am just getting worn out is all. I think Texas Mike said it best when he mentioned a match n some gasoline.

    Thanks you guys. Really. I just have to deal until I leave. I've just been deduced to using legal forms of Speed and taking my dog on liek a million walks a day.
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