Anyone know they are neglecting their responsibilites? I know I am. It's kinda odd to be honest. I think along time I started to rip apart the importance of specifics aspects of myself, which gradually made my responsibilites seem more demanding. Eventually I whittled my perception of responsibilities and attributed the meaning to surviving, displacing the priority of all responsibilities. Eventually I attributed my perceptions on responsibilities to that of others perceptions, and whittled down my "care" for what others thought, I continusouly cared less for these things I should do. Instead I found ways of drawing them out, doing them when I percieved them to be needed. Instead of daily, it eventually became random. Seeing how long I could continue on without doing them. Or simply breaking it down to a specific logic of letting it pile up so I can deal with it enmass, so I could have breaks inbetween doing them, but still be dealing with the upkeep. Leading to the point where things were only dealt with when they start to deteriorate. I suppose in all honesty, it's cleaning up, personal care, looking after my dog, my work, my relationships. Im finding these things are a issue very faintly in the back of my head. I fight myself by saying it's so hard and tiring to keep up with it, with no reward. The amount of time i spend doing these things I could be doing something else that is more fullfilling. But I am beliving now that without caring for the things that are important to me, finding new things in life will be taininted by the dissolving consistancy and lack of commitment in the responsiblities in my life, and as such it is, and has been affecting my interal well being. Warping my perception of life and how I can be from the outside inward. Just a thought. ... suddenly in the past 4 weeks, I have wanted some very specific and out there things, that are definatly outside the norm. But I know my chaotic mindset and lifestyle.. well will and has ruined these desires. Perhaps I am starting to believe that structure is extremely important in moving fowrad. Looking back is frustrating. But finding this little urge for these things is starting to give me a unique perception on myself and how I live my life. Something I want to jump on really badly. Though I know it will become a dissolving thought and feeling unless I create some sort of rational logic and emotional attachment to these desires. I donno... talking about it seems to give me the opportunity to place an importance in the words. Helping these feelings to grow and mature I suppose, so that I can become it instead of spilling it.