I know I am severely depressed. I get reminded every time I feel myself genuinely smile and I think to myself: "wow, that smile was real! I just felt a true feeling of happiness!" and then the next thing that comes into my head is "Wow, I don't genuinely smile, or laugh, or feel happy too often..." Anti-depressants honestly don't do a thing for me. I'm starting to think that maybe I don't have a chemical imbalance in my brain, but rather I simply haven't learned what being happy is like. Illegal drugs are obviously dangerous and can lead to addiction if not used responsibly, but if an illegal drug can somehow make me feel happier, is there a way to manipulate the drug's use for mental therapeutic value? Or does using illegal drugs alter your mental state so greatly that they do not offer any permanent benefits for treating depression?