I want so badly for this to be over. I hate myself so much, I... I don't know what to do. I cut myself, but it doesn't work like it used to. I just want it all to be over. I want to lie down and, for once, rest. I just want to rest forever. My girlfriend and I don't speak, we simply both lie to ourselves and say that we enjoy the illusion of conversation. And now that my parents know that I'm gay, they disapprove of her and refuse to speak to me after they see me with her. I'm failing school, I'm giving nothing back to the world, I'm just sitting self-satisfied and self-pitying on top of my needless luck, hoarding things from people who need them so much more than I do. I figure that if I kill myself, maybe someone will be better off for it.