Empathy Only restarted medication

laup

SF Supporter
#1
I do not need empathy i just wanted to write and do not know what pages to use yet, i guess i do want you to know how i am feeling though.
Every tool at my disposal is being used to fight going into a severe depression,its a month tomorrow since i came on. Today my dose doubled to 500 this is very significant not the dose its the fact that i have allowed myself to go back on medication.
They put me in this position because they could not get there head around the brain damage meds was the solution for them. Being on here has proved what i have saying to them for years. Get me some correctional therapy and the right kind of cbt.
Ive been rocking and rolling with this since about 5 am i went back to the earlier post by Gonz that briefly put ideas in my head, thankfully i read some inspirational comments
and knew i was in the middle of a bit of a mess.
Those of you that have been around a bit know what i have been up to in behaving like a idiot. Losing my childhood and escaping back to a 5 yr old ok i do not mind doing that but this is not the place to do it, if anywhere is actually.
Running away is not an option anymore i have hid a lot from you as you know, it will all come out in the wash when i get the pages right lol.i pretty much promised to stop smoking tomorrow. So that,s going to really piss me off...i did count how many fags i smoked over the 24 hrs and it was over 50 and its been like that since before some of you were born.
I am going ahead with it because i thrive on emotional turmoil its one of the few i have not tried. That,s why i am on the laptop now i think because a moment before i was getting the money together to buy some bacci. and i immediately thought of tomorrow.
I will forget the jar for now and buy a load of sweets and cakes i suppose...i am swaying between 2 and 7 thank you all *bravo
 

laup

SF Supporter
#3
Hey were good !!!
Funny thing is i was leaving the store and looked at the fag counter....i thought fuck it they will not even know *thumbsup.
Then i thought of your rules when you said and "don,t try and kid me about anything because i will find out".
Suddenly your scurrilous mates came on board the psychopath to boot *facepalm i scurried out the door pretty sharpish.
Yeah you taught an old dog not to sit here and pretend all is good get it out and make it better.
Taking nothing away from all at SF.
*grouphug2 later,s m8.
 

laup

SF Supporter
#5
How did you know that,s all i am thinking about, i am already sick of jelly babies: I thought i better get some practice in*facepalmgot tummy ache now and a garlic chicken breast cooking gggrrr.
I just got a reminder on my laptop diary about an upcoming appointment...flipping eck my diary was full like yours before i came on here.
I know you suggested this one, but as you know i threw my toys out of the pram when you could not get in.
This has however made me realize i can rant on there and not be bothered about using the right page.
Plus its unlocked now.
and i can stop pestering Dodge through the night i will pop in because kitty makes me laugh.
To be honest if everyone was not so suicidal on here we could all have a proper laugh...just joking.*hug
 

Tana

Well-Known Member
#6
XD

I get the stomach ace too...but the first three days seem to be the worst, it's a lot better after that. *hug
 

laup

SF Supporter
#7
Restart medication is nicotine medication, i got lucky my weekly crash came along...so now the next 3 days i will be especially awake, by crash i mean sleep.
To be honest tips are good...you just seem to have to bite the bullet on this one if truth is known. I have heard before the first few days are worst.
Its not as if i am new to withdrawal...my mindset the last 4 weeks keeps disturbing actions. i am taking nothing for granted and the vascular surgeon is never far from my mind.Early days i am doing ok. *hugcandy cave/mountain was funny this morning.
 

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