I do not need empathy i just wanted to write and do not know what pages to use yet, i guess i do want you to know how i am feeling though.
Every tool at my disposal is being used to fight going into a severe depression,its a month tomorrow since i came on. Today my dose doubled to 500 this is very significant not the dose its the fact that i have allowed myself to go back on medication.
They put me in this position because they could not get there head around the brain damage meds was the solution for them. Being on here has proved what i have saying to them for years. Get me some correctional therapy and the right kind of cbt.
Ive been rocking and rolling with this since about 5 am i went back to the earlier post by Gonz that briefly put ideas in my head, thankfully i read some inspirational comments
and knew i was in the middle of a bit of a mess.
Those of you that have been around a bit know what i have been up to in behaving like a idiot. Losing my childhood and escaping back to a 5 yr old ok i do not mind doing that but this is not the place to do it, if anywhere is actually.
Running away is not an option anymore i have hid a lot from you as you know, it will all come out in the wash when i get the pages right lol.i pretty much promised to stop smoking tomorrow. So that,s going to really piss me off...i did count how many fags i smoked over the 24 hrs and it was over 50 and its been like that since before some of you were born.
I am going ahead with it because i thrive on emotional turmoil its one of the few i have not tried. That,s why i am on the laptop now i think because a moment before i was getting the money together to buy some bacci. and i immediately thought of tomorrow.
I will forget the jar for now and buy a load of sweets and cakes i suppose...i am swaying between 2 and 7 thank you all
Every tool at my disposal is being used to fight going into a severe depression,its a month tomorrow since i came on. Today my dose doubled to 500 this is very significant not the dose its the fact that i have allowed myself to go back on medication.
They put me in this position because they could not get there head around the brain damage meds was the solution for them. Being on here has proved what i have saying to them for years. Get me some correctional therapy and the right kind of cbt.
Ive been rocking and rolling with this since about 5 am i went back to the earlier post by Gonz that briefly put ideas in my head, thankfully i read some inspirational comments
and knew i was in the middle of a bit of a mess.
Those of you that have been around a bit know what i have been up to in behaving like a idiot. Losing my childhood and escaping back to a 5 yr old ok i do not mind doing that but this is not the place to do it, if anywhere is actually.
Running away is not an option anymore i have hid a lot from you as you know, it will all come out in the wash when i get the pages right lol.i pretty much promised to stop smoking tomorrow. So that,s going to really piss me off...i did count how many fags i smoked over the 24 hrs and it was over 50 and its been like that since before some of you were born.
I am going ahead with it because i thrive on emotional turmoil its one of the few i have not tried. That,s why i am on the laptop now i think because a moment before i was getting the money together to buy some bacci. and i immediately thought of tomorrow.
I will forget the jar for now and buy a load of sweets and cakes i suppose...i am swaying between 2 and 7 thank you all