Not really sure why i feel i have to post here, although thought i'd do it anyway. I dont fancy revealing the reasons why i feel so suicidal right now, so im sorry if i keep you wondering. I never really been one to start topics when i first joined it was enough knowing there was people in a similar position of me if not worse, and there was the possibility of me helping them, that alone was enough to actually make myself feel good. (Sounds selfish, i dont just help people because it makes me feel good though). I knew a few months before that if things didnt improve [Regarding persoanl relationship] then i'd most likely keep attempting suicide till i succeed. I attempted suicide a few times before overdoses (resulted in nothing more then a bad headache ironic really :/). Tried Hanging myself a couple of times from the loft latch first time i failed i sort of put it towards faith as i remember actually hanging then suddenly being able to touch the floor with my feet, i guess maybe theres a reason this happened and gave life another try and tried coping with my problems. The attempt turned out to be as dismal as my suicide attemptl, life just threw more stuff at me being on the edge i attempted for the 2nd time with the same method, even though i tried to make sure i didnt repeat the last attempt the same happened, however this time my neck became bruised with the rope marks around my neck. I sort of gave up on this method and tried looking up others. In the meantime life just got harder and harder to cope with, im so grateful for the few friends i have because they been great, however they cant help me all time. I find it difficult to sleep at night now due to dreams and thoughts leading me waking up in a sweat. I rarely been eating too in fact i ate today for the 1st time in 3-4 days. Some one important to me told me once "If you cant live for yourselve who can you live for?" and i really dont feel like i can live for myself anymore. Friends and family is the only thing keeping me in this world because i dont want to cause them pain or depression, i dont want them to follow me. However i dont think they can keep me here much longer, nor can i burden them any longer only a few days ago i actually tried showing some one how much they hurt me by slitting my wrist and sending them a picture of it, however now i know in doing that i just caused myself more pain.The person i sent the email to means the world to me, and now i feel ashamed for causing her pain and being as pathetic to send her a picture of it. I came across a method of suicide which sounded so pleasant i knew i could just go sleep and chances are never wake up again. Im not going to go into details because i know im not the only one feeling suicidal and it would be like handing you a gun :/. I never really been one to be scared of death actually i think i'd welcome it. Its the only thing i got to look forward to, waiting for the day i can rest for enternity.