Hello everyone I'm new here I have been browsing around online trying to find ways to end all, I am ready to rest in peace living this life is so hard I'm very unhappy the only person that ever loved me passed away almost 3 years ago (My Mother) since then I have been trying to maintain and live a happy life but it is extremely hard. I feel like the weight of the world is on my shoulders. I can hardly keep my head above water but everyone comes to me for support everyone thinks I'm so strong but they just don't know the truth and when I try to explain to them how I feel it's ignored or is just unbelievable because they all think I just have it all together. It is so hard to be strong for everyone all the time who is there to ever be strong for me? I never have a shoulder to cry on because I'm not expected to cry. I have so much built up inside of me and no one who cares. I hate when I try to talk to people and get ignored, or my feelings are belittled, or I am accused of seeking attention or simply told to suck it up. If all goes well I am hoping to be resting in peace before the holidays approach. I am truly doing everything that I have to to prepare for this..I truly am looking forward to the day that I can sleep forever. And most of all I will reunite with my mother someone that I know truly cares. Preparing is time consuming but I am doing things everyday and getting much closer to my goal of resting in peace.