Some years ago now I was fortunate enough to find this site. At the time like everyone else here I was going through a really bad time and to find somewhere where people would listen without judging was without doubt the reason I am still alive today. I don't know if there are still people here who remember me but to all here I send love and best wishes. Since I last posted life did improve somewhat and I began to feel better. I thought I had escaped the feelings that at the time were tearing me apart. But I guess I will always carry the emotional scars from that time and now once more I find myself returning here. I thought I was strong enough to cope with the help of a few close friends and avoided coming here as I tried to stop thinking about suicide all day every day. Now I find those thoughts returning and I don't know if I do have the strength anymore.