Returning to the SOURCE - GOD

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by levitated-one, Dec 13, 2008.

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  1. levitated-one

    levitated-one Well-Known Member

    Hi, I'm new to this forum..

    It's the cycle isn't it? Like you have to love yourself in order to love someone else fully..and when you can't get in relationship and love someone else, that makes you depressed..therefore not loving yourself even more..and unable to love someone else even more.

    The endless cycle of depression is always..tricky.. So, I think I might have to leave this place and go back Home..where I will be loved..immensely. Yes I believe in the source..we are all immortal and came from one source..we are God..part of God.

    There are many things I do not like about myself...I feel so limited in what I can why am I stuck in a human body on Earth - a tiny planet in comparison to the ever expanding universe, I should be flying in heaven or the universe as my true source, my soul!! My body is not me but I'm stuck in it..and I do not like my body either.. I want to return to the source..

    I cannot integrate with the environment I was given..I don't think I belong where I am..because..I haven't been this ever before in my life..I'm talking about previous lifetimes..

    I was spiritual when I was a kid, I've seen many spirits, and had precognitions about future events which came true..but lost that when I was 11 or 12..

    I have a task here on Earth because I chose this task..before I came here..all of us did..but..I'm not sure if there's any consequences if I ended my task way too early...I don't think it'll be that huge a consequence..but I think it'll have major affects.. on my won't make that much a difference anyway since we're immortal, we came from the source, we never die.. so..50 odd years left for my family isn't that much compared to the true lifetime we have lived...from the big bang..till..forever..

    I'm talking like this because..I've seen spirits when I was young..and that made me question about life..spirits have no body..but they're in their true form..they can fly! I've read about others experiences..and read many spiritual accounts..regarding my clairvoyance and precognitions..

    Most humans have never personally encountered these, only heard of them therefore has limited views on spirituality.. I am one of the lucky ones to have encountered them, and know they are true events...

    So, if one would end his life, your life won't be will continue to must search for the light..there's light at the end of the tunnel..there's where all the love is the source..the creator..the energy..the ultimate..souls are gathering there to receive love and ..just love that human cannot fathom..

    There is where I'll be why am I ending it so early?? I personally believe everyone has the right to end their mission anytime they want... life on Earth is nothing compared to what lies ahead of death - the knowledge, knowledge that we're immortal, we're all one, we're the source, we're love, we're creators, we are who we are, we exist forever, knowledge of the creation, knowledge of on Earth is nothing compared to who we truly are..we are SOULS!

    So, I'm ending it because I want to be of being stuck on Earth, free of being limited as a of free as I AM truly myself, my soul! Free of social conditioning, free of hypocrite, free of control, everything here on Earth is sick and twisted for it's own good..There's a reason for all the sick and twisted shit going on here.. Everyone's doing their dirty jobs...governments, corporations, corrupted governments and officials, people getting killed, all for ...what? Working just to get paid...starting your own life...and in the end it doesn't even matter..

    Why are we worrying about what's going to happen tomorrow?? Why should we be really worry about anything here on Earth? We're immortal beings..why should be be worry what others do or say to us? It is because we're human...and humans have our limits..and we worry.

    So I shouldn't even bother about being a human.. therefore I should leave..I don't need to leave..but I REALLY want to leave..because..I don't think..Earth is suitable..for me..I'm so new to this place..I cannot go on like this..I don't wanna be part of the Earth people.. I wanna be FREE!!

    God bless me, God bless all of YOU!! Go search for the light..if you happen to..and know that we're all immortal beings.. nothing to worry about!
  2. fromthatshow

    fromthatshow Staff Alumni SF Supporter

    Ok I didn't read that whole thing because I am impatient and want to reply.
    But what I'll guess is that you want to leave your physical body to be back with God, and you understand and recognize that we are immortal and have nothing to worry about.
    Very True.
    I'm read this book called A Course In Miracles. Basically says the same thing. We are all fine.
    the problem is not in the body. It's in the mind. So how can destroying the body change your mind?
    I've thought about suicide for peace. But if I have no peace of mind in my body, why should I have peace of mind outside it. When I am ready for peace, I will make the most of what little time is left before I return to source. Peace of mind can only be found here and now, not by looking for it somewhere else.
    Although I'm sure it doesn't matter if you have a body or not to find peace. But the point is that if suicide is a way out, if it is your answer, your salvation, then it's likely you won't magically change your mind.

    best of luck and all my love


    There is absolutely nothing to worry about here on this Earth, and if you really believed that, what need would you have to destroy your physical body? This physical world, the Earth, is nothing but a delusion of the mind. Everything is in the mind. You can't destroy what does not exist. The light is all there is, and it can be found here and now! You won't find it anywhere but in this present moment. :heart: :wub:
  3. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Member Safety & Support SF Supporter

    Your post is extremely triggering.

    Welcome to SF!

    Do you have a therapist to talk about these issues with?

    Sorry..I can't give you any advice. Your post has left me gobsmacked.

    I am interested to hear what your encounters with spirits have been.

    I'm here if you need to talk :hug:
    Last edited by a moderator: Dec 13, 2008
  4. levitated-one

    levitated-one Well-Known Member

    Hi all,

    Yes, this is how I think..I'm not thinking of suicide because I hate my life..but because I want to return to where I came from..and that Earth is..a strange place for live. I cannot see what the point on Earth..everytime I see another human and see how they live their life, I cannot help but to question, what is the whole point in this? Because in the end it doesn't even matter..just like linkin park has said.

    I cannot integrate with everything here on Earth..only a certain type of people I can really communicate friends come and go all the time.. and I love animals dearly ;-) Love them so much!

    iloveyou, thanks for the reply..yes, peace is from the mind. But what you don't understand's from the human mind..because human minds are so limited. For example, someone very advance in meditation can tell you that the peace they aquired from the highest level of meditation trance state of mind is way..ahead in terms of comparison to someone who is sleeping peacefully.
    And, someone who has a near-death-experience (NDE) "may"(may because only some will experience the source) tell you that they've gone to the source, the light..and that's a different kind of level in comparison to the advance meditator..

    So, there are many levels to peace..depending on how you access them. However, the human mind is limited in what the spiritual mind is capable of.. souls think..just like human brains think (don't ask me how I'm not an expert on this - I only know there's a soul in each of us because I've seen spirits, and because of things that happen in others life)

    What I'm saying'm sorry if my view on life is cheap...but..I personally think that I have the right to end my mission on Earth early and get back to the source.
  5. Aaron

    Aaron Well-Known Member

    Very interesting posts levitated-one...much to consider.
  6. levitated-one

    levitated-one Well-Known Member

    Hi Spencer, thanks for the reply.

    Earth is not a delusion of the mind...Anything that can be created can also be destroyed.. People that think Earth is a delusion or dream, is because they suddenly realize this is..nothing in comparison to the whole scheme of things..that we live forever..and immortal., that there's a higher life in comparison to the one we live now...this is only temporary..therefore feels like a dream..

    I don't know what to say..but when I'm urgent to leave, I'll leave this temporary place called Earth.'ll have an impact on the people... nevertheless..I have the right to go back home as much as the person next to me.

    For example: If you have two options:
    1: Would you rather serve life imprisonment for trafficking cocaine and get shit treatment from security, getting stabbed by inmates, getting into trouble in a crazy jailhouse.
    2: Or would you rather be sentenced to death in some strict countries?

    I would choose 2nd option, neither one is better than the's only preference..

    BUT, if you're the Mother of the drug trafficker, which option would you prefer now???

    Surely the 1st? Because mom would prefer the 1st option, not to see their son die so young.. The truth is, it doesn't matter!! See what I mean here??
    Neither option would be right nor wrong.. only different consequences..
  7. WillST

    WillST Active Member

    There is no god.
  8. levitated-one

    levitated-one Well-Known Member

    We're all part of God..God is the atoms..the quarks..the all things..God is everything.

    The reason I believe in spirituality is because I've seen do you explain that? And no, I'm not hallucinating or having delusions.. my sister saw it too (she was skeptical) if a spirit exist without a physical body, then there must be more to Earth, and human beings..

    We're so in everything because we know nothing..that's what I'm saying here.. people know nothing about God or spirituality because they don't wanna know, or has not seen anything therefore not believing..

    The answer is out find the answers, there needs to be seekers willing to know the truth.

    That being said, I still think there's no right nor wrong in ending your own life.

  9. Dave_N

    Dave_N Guest

    Hi Levitated-one. First of all, I would like to welcome you to SF. I'm also a spiritual person of sorts and I find it very refreshing having another spiritual person here on SF. I would like to hear more about your encounters with spirits. I also believe that when we die, we become spirits, but I have never seen a spirit and let's face it, seeing is believing. I believe in my heart that they are real based on all of the haunting shows that I've watched, but you have to see them for yourself to really believe that they exist. I would really love to see a spirit one day.

    Based on your other posts, I think that you're a deep spiritual practitioner. You must be into meditation, yoga or another spiritual practice. I've been practicing meditation for the past 8 years and I've experienced some 'astral traveling' experiences. I believe that you can experience the astral, while still being alive in our physical bodies. You don't need to commit suicide to be liberated.

    Parts of your posts might be triggering for some of the members here on SF (like sweetheart :hug: ), because it sounds like you're glorifying suicide, as a way to end your physical suffering and be free. Maybe a moderator can add a triggering warning to this post? You can live as I live and be free in your own existence. Just live your life in an emotionally detached way. We all will die one day, but ending your life in pursuit of spirituality is a waste of a life.
  10. gentlelady

    gentlelady Staff Alumni

    Your views are interesting to say the least. I have many questions in my mind about how your thoughts arrived where they have, but as this is not a forum for debate I will leave them unvoiced. I wish to encourage you to live out your life in its entirety. You say you wish to return to the origin, but I think there may be some steps you are missing. So much is unknown.
  11. levitated-one

    levitated-one Well-Known Member


    Thanks for the reply and my name is Dave too. I've never experienced astral projection so I'm jealous that you can ;-) You must be close enough to the source to be able to do that..only few can do that..

    I've seen more than 30 different spirits as a child to be honest..because the room I've lived in, there's always different spirits popping up at night, but only one spirit a day showed up.. I've been seeing one every 3 or 4 days for 2-3 months.. this is what happened:

    My dad changed his job 1993 , around that time..when I was about 8. We moved to a rented house, I share the same bedroom with my sister. At about the end of the first week, that night when I go to sleep, about 5 minutes later I was driven by the desire to wake up, and open my eyes.. when I did, there's a spirit in front of the bed..I was shocked!! I've never seen a spirit before and don't know what the fk it I stared at it..I was so nervous..almost shitting myself.. It just watched me for about 1 minute or 2, then dissapeared..

    It's about 50-50 opaque, so you can't really see through them, and they're glowing but some glow in the dark products but duller, less light..they have human body and clothings...but you can't make out the clothings because it's all you see is a piece of dull glowing body, and there's a head..but you can't make out the face because there's not enough light coming from them..

    I'm then starting to see them every other 3 nights..different spirits each per night. I told my parents about it, they kinda brush it off.. my sister thinks I'm dreaming, and asked me to wake her up the next time I saw them (we shared the same room and bed)

    So, the next time, same thing happened.. I was just minutes away after going to bed..and was getting this feeling that I should wake up..when I did, in front of the bed I saw a green spirit!! Green coloured!! It's a man, glowing in very dull green!! I wake my sister up, and as soon as I did, the green spirit hovered around the bed, next to my sister!!! I then pretend to sleep because I did not want the spirit to do the same to me, to get too close!!

    The next morning she was shocked, and told me she saw that same green spirit that I saw when I woke her up! My parents then believed me..and called a pastor to pray for the room..after that prayer I did not see spirits anymore..

    But before the prayer, I've seen many spirits in that room.. they're all male as I can tell from their presence..but only just once, I've had a female presence.. I can tell because of the clothings she wore...she wore like an ancient robe, and she had long hair..she's a lot brighter than all the other spirits I've seen..eminating more light.. and she didn't do anything..except watching me..then dissapeared.

    Also, twice where I had a spirit getting so close to me, right next to my bedside.. just watching.. I was shocked that it got so close!! And, Once I saw a spirit while on a family vacation a motel...that spirit wore a jacket..and it's male.. it freaked me out because I did not expect to see it..

    Also at that age I've been having precognitions, and also dreams that came true...many.. not bad dreams just dreams like I saw my dad had this car...and the same exact model was given to him few months later by his company..and other things like I know my granddad had a major problem with his eye...he did not know it..but when he went to doctor to check because he's complaining about his eye, he had..some operation done.. So I was spiritual when I was a kid..

    I'm not into meditation (wanted to get into it but need a good teacher/group)..I've done LSD..though..after that I know the term synchronicity by Carl Jung, and always have these time synchronicity popping up when I wake up or when I go to toilet - the clock would be 1:11, 2:22, 1:23, 3:33..12:34..etc.. just popping up..all the time.. I had a period of month where about 80% of the time it would be synchronized like joke. I understand that our soul can expand and be able to access information that we cannot access with the limited human ability.. like clairvoyance.. be able to tell when my phone is going to ring just before it did..had few days like these..I just know..

    Yes, I do not have the tools to cope with life..but I feel very strange in this place Earth..if you know what I mean.. many spiritual people feel like this..and know this is not their true home.. I'm one of them.. So..may God bless you and I ;-)

  12. fromthatshow

    fromthatshow Staff Alumni SF Supporter

    No problem. Lovely thread :heart:. I've thought so very similar.

    The human brain, body, experience, is ALL about limitation. I completely agree. I think the body is an attempt to separate ourselves from the uncoditional love that is God/source and that is what we are.
    I'm not sure how much the destruction of the body would do though, because the problem lies not in the body. The belief is one in separation, and our body is just that belief manifest. It would have the be the belief that changes, not the death of the body, which is neutral and is there only so long as we want to see it.
  13. CAD

    CAD Well-Known Member

    You had my interest and sympathy until that last line; and then I started thinking "self-appointed esoteric elect".

    Have any of these apparitions ever spoken/communicated with you at all? Or do they just hover nonchalantly around your bed?
  14. sidjor

    sidjor Active Member

    Your seeing spirits and precognitions qualify u as a psychic but not a spiritualist...don't get me wrong..u have a lot of interest in the area and should pursue it seriously if u can find a good master/teacher who can guide you.

    As far as what happens after death, well there are different opinions on that depending on whether u subscribe to eastern or western traditions.

    No one can say anything with certainity but there are a few experiences i've ready about wrt NDEs of people who've comitted suicide.

  15. levitated-one

    levitated-one Well-Known Member

    Hi Sid

    Yes, I've read about their accounts too... I'm not a spiritualist..but I'm a spiritual person. Just as you are not a mentalist, but a mental person..joking lol ;-) !!

    CAD, I wasn't looking for any sympathy.. but.. I'm just saying... and re-considering my views on things...see if I can get a different point of view..and what you guys think about what I said. thing's for sure.. I believe we have the right to end the mission if we choose you want to go home early, after getting sick at work.. same thing.
  16. Dave_N

    Dave_N Guest

    Hi Dave. I wanted to post a couple of forums that I also visit. I thought you might be interested in checking them out.
    This one is a kundalini forum that I've been a member to for a few years. It's a spiritual forum designed for people who have gone through kundalini awakenings or are interested in general spirituality.
    This one is a great forum if you are interested in astral travelling. It's really not that hard. The trick to astral travelling is to be tired enough to sleep but not allowing yourself to actually go to sleep. It's tricky but not impossible. Good luck with it. :smile:
  17. levitated-one

    levitated-one Well-Known Member

    Thanks Dave! I think I've decided to live ;-) to live out my mission here on Earth. I've just got myself fluoxetine, antidepressant drug to help me. And I'm going to uni next year. All is well, and got a book "spiritual growth" to quench my thirst in spirituality and peace of mind.

    Thanks that kundalini awakening is some serious shit lol.. I like both of them ;-) But astral projection me curious..because I have a book about it, but didn't really try it..its by robert peterson. But don't you see spirits while in higher/astral dimensions? I know there are different dimensions..and how you can see depending on what level you have gotten.
  18. Rosenrot

    Rosenrot Forum Buddy

    I would like to friendly remind you - no one knows what happens when you die. No one's been dead and come back to tell us they went somewhere else.

    Keep that in mind if you decide to do anything radical. Be safe. :hug:
  19. levitated-one

    levitated-one Well-Known Member

    Thanks for honest reply ;-)
  20. fromthatshow

    fromthatshow Staff Alumni SF Supporter

    Check out this response I got from the Foundation For A Course In Miracles,

    My question was essentially, wouldn't it be quicker to get to God if I destroyed my body?

    Here is there answer in which I whole heartedly agree. :heart:

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