Returning to work after suicide attempt

Discussion in 'Welcome' started by nararabbit, Oct 27, 2014.

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  1. nararabbit

    nararabbit Active Member

    Hello everyone!

    At the beginning of October I attempted to take my life. My therapist and I spoke and she committed me to a mental institution (which needed to happen.) I am bipolar and had run out of medicine for 3 days and couldn't get a refill, had a fight w/ my husband and was struggling at work, which all became too much. After I got out of the hospital, my therapist wrote to my boss that I needed two weeks off for medical reasons. During that two weeks my mom flew out (she has already lost one son to drunk driving and another to a farm accident) she helped me get my house unpacked and clean, grocery shopped for me, etc.

    Now I am back at work and terrified it will happen again. I get stressed out very easily (perfectionist people pleaser) and while my job is not hard, it requires a lot of memory and my memory is sooo bad since my attempt (think I got brain damage though not confirmed.) Now I am writing everything down. When I came back my coworker had covered for me, got everything done but my filing which I soooo appreciate.

    Now, they do not know why I was in the hospital... I told them I blacked out (which is true) and had been having blackouts since I got out (also true, moments when I can't remember how I got somewhere or what had been going on the last 5 minutes.) However, medicine (lamictal and venlafaxine) have helped my mood considerably and my doc prescribed Ambien to make sure I stay on a regular sleep schedule even if I get manic.

    The bipolar has made everything a struggle and I hate how I've hurt my family and friends. I have a wonderful, supportive husband (who also struggles with depression and chronic pain), my parents could not be better, more loving people, and even my in-laws are fantastic. We just moved into a new house that we love with our 2 dogs and 2 cats (my babies). And still I have suicidal thoughts nearly every day!

    I'm glad to find a support network who understands. It will spread my illness a little thinner, so I don't have to burden my husband so much when my thoughts turn negative.

    Love to all,
  2. Freya

    Freya Loves SF Staff Member ADMIN SF Author

    Hi Nararabbit - I am glad that you are feeling better and that you have a good support network. Being surrounded by people who love you and can support you is invaluable. As is having a therapist who is willing to take needed measures for your safety.

    It sounds like you have all the components to make a good recovery - and I wish you well :hug:
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