Revelations of the Soul.

Discussion in 'Rants, Musings and Ideas' started by Moat, Oct 30, 2012.

  1. Moat

    Moat Banned Member

    Every day now, I been feeling even more irritated as the days go on, not because I have slumped back into depression or suicidal tendencies, but strangely enough, over the half or more year that I have been even more active on SF, but more that, lately, I seem to have climbed myself out of the darkness that of the well that had been my mind's home for so many years and the Sunlight that I never though I would ever see about seems to be filling me with a renewed strength of warmth, energy and positive outlook on not only my life but everyone here, as well as offline.
    Because I am not used to feeling so positive about thinks in life, it is a little over whelming and, as such, some of the threads on the forums (to which I can relate to, do not get me wrong), are making my heart and mind start to think about how clueless, in the World is when it comes to depression, OCD, paranoia, self-hatred, self- inflicting wounds.... and I know that is wrong to think that way of them, because just like me, everyone is here for help, like I am also here and although problems vary from one person to the next, I find myself getting angry that a lot simply sit down and accept the hand the hand they have given in life and not do a thing to change their circumstances, regardless of how many people reply to the threats.
    I know, as well as everyone else on this site, from the regulars to the new members that nothing is easy and that what they go through on an almost basis is beyond words to describe, but please, if anyone does read this, whatever it is that you have to go through, physically or emotionally or both of those, I can understand why you would like it all to stop and just disappear from this World and that it can be one of the toughest things to take advice from what people tell you in here, but the reality comes down to it that if you only sit down and write out a list (yes, that does actually work) starting from all of your smallest problems and working your way up,from the easy to manage things to the most difficult things, then you are talking your problems one at a time, however slowly you take. You end up not only with a shorter list, but you grew ever closer to achieving your goals of beating whichever problems or personal demons that plague you day in and day out.

    I also wanted to post this, outside of my diary, because this last part, I would like to make an apology to some people that I have replied to over the few months which were seen as offensive in their eyes, even though I only wished to help. Those three people (I will say their member names, but any administrator or moderation who feels it should be a private issue, please edit out their names.

    For starters, SadGuy33 - I was not intending to have a go at you, I was really only trying to offer advice. The problem with the internet is that it is all texts on a screen and can be taken many different ways, so I apologise for making you think I was attacking you.

    Roksy - I understand now, that I came off a little rude to you, but that was not my intention at all - I was genuinely trying to explain to you what you said in your post, and in no way meant any personal attack on you.

    And Marjori - we definitely have been friends for a while now and up until a week or so ago, our friedship had become strained that we do not talk anymore. I apologise from my Soul for everything I did and said that has made you more depressed than ever before.

    I am not the best person here, not by far, but I like to think that I am brave enough to realise my own mistakes and try and offer compensation in any way I can for my actions.
  2. Daphna

    Daphna Well-Known Member

    I applaud you for taking responsibiltiy for your words and actions. I hope that those you have offended will see the true growth that you have received by these trials and that they will give you a chance to redeem yourself in their lives.
    It can be frustrating when we feel helpless and truly want to help. We must realize that change takes time, and we must be gentle with those who are hurt by this word. Trust is a big thing for these souls and that takes time as well.
  3. Moat

    Moat Banned Member

    Aye, and thank you kindly. It is a redemption to those others, but more over, myself, I tend to think, since I normally rush into things saying things without thinking and then dwell on them for days afterwards, with more and more guilt building up inside, so I like to try and apologise as soon as I can, not just for my sake, but those that had to deal with it all. If it all comes to something or not, at least I have the knowledge that I have put it out there,