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Discussion in 'Positive Feelings and Motivational Messages' started by coffee, Feb 18, 2010.

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  1. coffee

    coffee Well-Known Member

    I was in so much pains and hurt, I wasn't really able to look back and go through what I have learned so far. I was so busy with crying, blaming, full of hateful, confused etc...

    I wanted to get better. I wanted to be perfectly well, I was very eager to go through all these process too fast, what happened was......it was more difficult than it should had been... but now I see myself where I am right now. Everything was worth it. It's like cooking potatoes and meats. If you try to cook them fast with highest temperature they are harder to eat. I understand that I have to learn to be patient with certain things.

    Recently I had skin reaction from a new cream. I freaked out.
    I should have just use water to wash them off and wait to cool down.
    but I wanted to fix it ASAP so I ended up trying whole different kinds of other creams. Then it got worse of course. So I've finally decided to stop using anything and just waited. Now I am back to normal and appreciate my skin.

    This counselor that I had for over a year now. He has been there for me.
    It wasn't perfect. Tons of ups and down, I felt betrayal, rejected, abandoned etc... It was like going through exactly same things as I was child.
    Relationship with my parents, abusers, authorities, friends...

    This counseling process was the worst because he was there for me and promised me and made me feel like I can be friend with him etc. BUT again, he didn't keep his promise. However I am stronger and I don't have to doubt myself because I've survived the most painful experience.

    Anyways, I am quite focused now. I know where I am standing and I know what's the most important things in my life. Which is...

    My own family. especially my son.
    Because my parents never took care of me, with my son, I was so focused on just being close physically for him and I've done enough of that.

    Now he is older and I have to be there for him emotionally. Connect with this little guy.
    Sometimes, it really frustrates me that he fallows me everywhere that I don't get breaks at all. But I've decided to really enjoy it cuz he's not going to do that forever and I learned to say No to him, trying to take care of myself at the same time. Learning limits and balancing.

    Now I see purpose of my life. I have my wonderful little man right by me.
    I will be there for him. Not like what my parents did to me.

    My counselor helped me to grow up emotionally. It was dang hard because
    I didn't like it at all when he was trying to discipline me but it was very necessary and I am going to do same for my son.
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Feb 18, 2010
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