It's one a.m and I just finish my shift. I must be getting wiser as I enter my 20's. The saying "With age comes maturity" must ring true. I've been reading self help books lately. Although my healing process had just begun I feel a quiet revolution stirring inside of me. It's been difficult. I never knew words could enchant me and draw out emotions that I've buried and compell me to cry. I've been grieving, but crying in itself is liberating. Most days I find it hard to keep myself together. I'm afraid if I don't hug myself hard enough, I would fall apart. Though, it's getting easier to feel whole and new again-this feeling is strange to me. I want to over come this painful metamorphisis and emerge victorious. It's all so frightening. I want to heal these aching wounds. I want to change. I no longer want to be a victum but I'm so f*cken terrified. So so so terrified. I'm not sure if I have the strenght to follow through with this exorcisim, but I have to find out. For myself.