Rib Ticklers

Discussion in 'Positive Feelings and Motivational Messages' started by pit, Aug 20, 2011.

  1. pit

    pit Well-Known Member

    How do rabbis defend themselves?

    Jew-Jitsu.


    What did the pants say to the belt?

    Loosen up.


    What does a Muslim child wear for Halloween?

    A Mosque.


    What did the earthquake say to the volcano?

    Come over baby, whole lotta shakin going on.


    THese jokes should brighten your day. Share them with your loved ones. And in case you want to know, yes, I write my own jokes.

    :hamtaro:
     
  2. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    Thanks Pit hugs
     
  3. Aquarius123

    Aquarius123 Well-Known Member

    Understanding Engineers

    Understanding Engineers​


    One: ​

    Two engineering students were walking across a university campus when one said, ‘Where did you get such a great bike?’
    The other one replied: ‘Well, I was walking along yesterday, minding my own business, when a beautiful woman rode up on this bike, threw it to the ground, took off all her clothes and said: ‘Take what you want.’ The first student nodded approvingly and responded with: ‘Good choice! The clothes probably wouldn’t have fitted you anyway.’

    More to follow.​
     
  4. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    lol that is so funny:rofl::rofl:
     
  5. Aquarius123

    Aquarius123 Well-Known Member

    Thank you, dear Friend. Here is another instalment of

    Understanding Engineers

    Part Two


    To the optimist, the glass is half-full.
    To the pessimist, the glass is half-empty.
    To the engineer, the glass is twice as big as it needs to be.

    Keep chuckling!

    With love - Aquarius

    :hug:​
     
  6. Aquarius123

    Aquarius123 Well-Known Member

    Understanding Engineers - Part 3

    Understanding Engineers​


    Part Three ​


    A priest, a doctor and an engineer were waiting one morning for a particularly slow group of golfers. The engineer fumed: ‘What’s the matter with those chaps? We must have been waiting for fifteen minutes!’ The doctor chimed in: ‘I don’t know, but I’ve never seen such inept golf!’ The priest remarked: ‘Here comes the green-keeper. Let’s have a word with him.’ Turning to him, he said: ‘Hello George, what’s wrong with that group ahead of us? They’re rather slow, aren’t they?’

    ‘Oh, yes,’ the green-keeper replied. ‘That’s a group of blind firemen. They lost their sight saving our clubhouse from a fire last year, so we let them play free of charge at any time.’ The group fell silent for a moment. Then the priest said: ‘That’s so sad. I think I will say a special prayer for them tonight.’ The doctor said: ‘Good idea. I’m going to contact my ophthalmologist colleague and see if there’s anything he can do for them.’ The engineer said: ‘Why don’t they play at night?’

    With love and light,
    Aquarius

    :smile:​
     
  7. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    thanks hun hugs
     
  8. Aquarius123

    Aquarius123 Well-Known Member

    Understanding Engineers - Part 4

    Understanding Engineers

    Part Four

    What is the difference between mechanical engineers and civil engineers?
    Mechanical engineers build weapons. Civil engineers build targets.
    Sad, but true!

    With love and light,
    Aquarius

    :smile:
     
  9. Aquarius123

    Aquarius123 Well-Known Member

    Understanding Engineers - Part 5

    Understanding Engineers

    Part 5


    A graduate with a science degree asks: ‘Why does it work?’
    Someone with an engineering degree asks: ‘How does it work?’
    Yet another person with an accounting degree asks: ‘How much does it cost?’
    Whereas the graduate with an arts degree wants to know: ‘Do you want fries with that?’

    With love - Aquarius

    :blink:​
     
  10. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    now that made me smile hun fries with that lol
     
  11. Aquarius123

    Aquarius123 Well-Known Member

    Understanding Engineers - Part 6

    Understanding Engineers

    Part Six ​


    Three engineering students were discussing who might have designed the human body. The first one said: ‘It was a mechanical engineer. Just look at all the joints.’ The second one replied: ‘No, it was an electrical engineer. The nervous system has many thousands of electrical connections.’ ‘Ah,’ after a moment’s pause the third one suggested: ‘I think it must have been a civil engineer. Who else would run a waste pipeline through a recreational area?’

    With love and light,
    Aquarius

    :smile: ​
     
  12. Aquarius123

    Aquarius123 Well-Known Member

    A short skinny Jew walks into a lumber camp looking for a job. To impress the skeptical foreman, he chops down a towering oak tree in 90 seconds.

    ‘Wow! Where’d you learn to do that?’ the foreman asks.

    ‘In the Sahara Forest,’ the man replies.

    ‘Do you mean the Sahara Desert?’ queries the foreman.

    The little Jew looks him in the eye and says: ‘Sure, now it’s a desert.’
     
  13. Aquarius123

    Aquarius123 Well-Known Member

    Understanding Engineers - Part Seven

    Ordinary folks think that if something isn’t broken one doesn’t fix it.
    Engineers, however, believe that if something isn’t broken, it may not yet have enough features.