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Right now, Damnit!

Discussion in 'Help Me! I Need to Talk to Someone.' started by Aquariamethystea, Nov 27, 2007.

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  1. I soo want to die right now. I really don't want to wait until I get it. I want my life over with right now. Please god, take my miserable pathetic life!
  2. itmahanh

    itmahanh Senior Member & Antiquities Friend

    What's up BP? Why so urgent! Can you take a few minutes to talk about it?
  3. I have been very depressed and now I am trying to be stable. However, I'm not sure what is happening or going to happen, though somehow, I feel like I'm failing. I have this feeling of being hated by everyone and everything in this world like I'm constantly being told to die by signs that I see in things which occur. On Monday evening, I went somewhere which had been relocated from another location to where it is at now. I discovered this on a day in early February, which happened to be one of the best days of my life. Going there Monday evening was a reminder of that, very triggering, but I wanted to deal with it and get the pain over with, because it bothers me every single day of my life. Since I'm going to die, at least I want some sort of peace about it in whichever way possible, even if it means recovering something I like from being emotionally attached to that day. Of course, I failed. I nearly cried on the way home, only to cry when I got home. A friend of mine kept me from having a breakdown this morning which could have led me to trying something horrible to end my life today. Instead of being dead, I'm here reliving this all alone.
  4. vbuk

    vbuk Staff Alumni

    sweetie we dont want to lose you and im glad you are still with us - even if your not. im sorry it didnt work out for you but you took such a big step in doing what you did. i have faith that you can get through this.

    Im always here if u want to talk

    Clare xxx
  5. Thank you, Clare. :hug:

    I tried so much and if I die, please know I tried, everything I could. I'm sorry.
  6. Hey Kurt,
    Haven't talked to you in a while, and haven't been able to catch up on everything that's going on and I do apologize for that. I'm glad to see that you're still around though, and still fighting through all of this. As Clare said, we're glad you're still with us, even if you aren't, and I'm sure you've heard it many, many times, but suicide is not the answer, as much as it seems appealing, and the perfect solution, it's not. Hang in there Kurt, and take care of yourself. Things are going to get better, but you have to remember that it takes time as well. If you need to talk, you know where to find me. Stay safe!
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