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RIP father

Discussion in 'Grief and Bereavement' started by Dearly-Beloved, Mar 21, 2011.

  1. Dearly-Beloved

    Dearly-Beloved New Member

    Passed away yesterday... the lung cancer got the better of him.
    He never even smoked, neither did my mother.

    At least he and I enjoyed our last 6 months together. My mother passed away too, died in a car accident when I was only 6 years old or so. That was almost 17 years ago. My father never thought of romancing anyone else. Foolish or not, I always admired his loyalty to my mother, even when she was dead. He never wanted someone else to replace her, to put it a bit cruel.

    3 weeks before his death, my father asked me to go on with life when he's gone, no matter what happens.
    That's exactly what I'm going to do.

    I'm not in a favourable position though. I'm pretty much all alone now. No siblings, no friends, no grandparents (never even got to know them, they all passed away before I was even born), I don't have a good family bond with the rest, don't have a girlfriend (yet). I don't mind being alone though... at least I have my own house and a job, that's good enough for me. Never was a very sociable person anyway.

    I think I'm going to take a walk in the woods tomorrow... think about stuff, re-think my position in life and think about the past. I wonder what fate has in store for me.

    May his soul rest in peace, together with mother's.

    Anyway, sorry for all this text, I just had to vent somewhere. Thanks for reading.
  2. Stormrider

    Stormrider Well-Known Member

    Sorry to hear about your father.
    But it sounds like you're being positive about going on with your life, having a job and a house of your own is a nice thing. I'd love to have a place of my own, maybe in a few years i can.

    Don't worry too much about having no bonds with your family, i have a big family but hardly ever see anyone of them.
    To have friends and a girlfriend, that's something that we can never know in advance. Keep doing what you like or feel comfortable with, and just see what will happen.

    Also :welcome: to the forum, feel free to talk,rant,... anytime you want to.
  3. Sadeyes

    Sadeyes Staff Alumni

    Mikey, Hi and welcome...so sorry for your loss...please know, that although it is cyber, we are here for you...is there anything I can do other than sending an heartfelt cyber hug (again, best that can be done in cyber)...please continue to live as your father would have wanted you to...and continue to share with us how you are doing..welcome again...J
  4. Rukia

    Rukia Well-Known Member

    I'm so sorry for your loss. :hug:
  5. Dearly-Beloved

    Dearly-Beloved New Member

    Thanks for the nice comments.

    You're right. I should keep doing what I like and see what happens. I hope everything turns out alright.

    I don't think there's much that you can do. But your cyber hug is more than enough. :) I don't even feel devastated about the loss of my father. I feel sad, yes, but not devastated. I knew he didn't have much time left.

    I guess not much can be said at this point.
  6. Terry

    Terry Antiquities Friend Staff Alumni

    So identify with this post.
    Lost my dad a few month ago to lung cancer and like yourself am an only child, tho mum is still with me.
    It's great that you are looking forward and being positive, but be prepared for a sudden smack of grief to hit now all the fuss of funeral etc has been dealt with.
    My PM box is always open if you need it :hug:
  7. IV2010

    IV2010 Well-Known Member

    so sorry for the loss of your dear Dad..now re-united with your Mum.
    I'm glad you are being so positive about life as your Dad wanted
  8. luka

    luka Active Member

    mate i am sorry about your father and everything else. as long as you contnue to live, you will always be carrying on in their name, it is something they will be proud of and so am i, i hope my son grows up to be somebody like you because you are a great person
  9. Dearly-Beloved

    Dearly-Beloved New Member

    Yesterday it was the funeral... not much to say about it, however I suspect my family (uncles and all that) doesn't really like me all that much. Even when I wanted to talk they didn't seem interested or rejected me in a subtle way. Only 1 person was willing to talk to me and it was an awkward conversation to say the least. I'm a bit disappointed... guess I'll be alone for a while. I can't really tell what I've done wrong to them. As far as I know I don't think my parents had any quarrels with the rest of the family. Even though my father never really saw his family much, if at all.

    I was thinking about finding myself a girlfriend since I'm seriously missing affection at the moment, but maybe it's way too soon for that. Maybe I need to get friends first.
    Last edited by a moderator: Mar 31, 2011
  10. Terry

    Terry Antiquities Friend Staff Alumni

    Yep friends is definetly the way to go.