RIP James Robert Adams

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by akaangela, Jan 5, 2014.

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  1. akaangela

    akaangela Member

    On Jan 2 2014 I found out my son, James Robert Adams, died. He was only 22 y.o. I thought my life was hard enough, dealing with depression and other health issues, but I found out that that is nothing when your kid dies. I keep asking WHY? My ex is being spiteful and nasty. Oh I know he is hurting but so am I. I keep thinking it isn't real. That it is a bad nightmare and I will wake up. It has to be a mistake. Then I remember the officer coming to the door. I just keep thinking that I will hear his voice or see a post by him on facebook or something. I keep think please don't let this be real. People keep asking me what they can do. People say they are keeping me in their prayers. I am trying not to be hateful and say God didn't keep James safe. I am trying to understand what I did so wrong that I am being punnished this way. He was so young. He had his whole life ahead of him. I am trying to remember that there is a reason to go on. I can't forget that I was just wondering how his life was going to be in 5, 10 years. I was hoping for a girlfriend for him. A good job. It can't be real. It just can't.

    I am just sitting here not knowing what to do. I missed the medical examiners call so I have to wait till monday to find out why he died. I don't even have the money to bury him. I can't get in touch with his dad so I don't know what he has planned. James and I talked about that I wanted to be cremated and he said he wanted that to. I don't know if he really ment it or he was just agreeing with me. Craig's (his father) mother won't give me Craigs phone number so I can't even call him.

    I am sorry for going on and on. I am just shocked and hurting beyond what I thought was possible and am having a problem thinking why I should go on when my son lies dead.
     
  2. SillyOldBear

    SillyOldBear Teddy Bear Fanatic Staff Member Safety & Support

    akaangela, oh I am so sorry about what has happened to you and your son. And I know nothing I say can ease your pain. I never had children, so I cannot possibly imagine what is on your mind and heart. I only know that life is not supposed to work this way. And that entirely too many things happen in life that we will never really understand. But I don't believe that God, or anyone, is doing this to punish you. I don't believe that you did anything that could have brought this on. Really horrible stuff happens. We don't deserve it, but it comes anyway.

    I am glad you checked in with this forum. I hope you will find the support you need. The police will have to notify his dad too. Hopefully that will prompt him to get in touch with you. And if Craig can't help with the burial, check with the funeral homes. I am sure they have run into this before and they should be able to direct you somewhere for assistance.
     
  3. DrownedFishOnFire

    DrownedFishOnFire Quieta non movere

    Contact the police to have them inform the father if his sons death. sorry for your loss
     
  4. akaangela

    akaangela Member

    Oh his dad knows. I asked the officer that informed me to tell him. His quote "His did didn't take it well" I have NO idea what that meant It could mean everything from just crying to threating the officer with a gun. His dad has a temper. A bad one when he is upset.

    Shebear: thank you. I hadn't thought of that. Things are so muddled right now it is almost all I can do to get through the minutes, let alone days. Today has been one of the longest of my life. The not knowing is the hardest. Not knowing how he died, not knowing what is going on with his father, not knowing...... I can't seem to stop the tears from falling at odd moments. I keep thinking that I need to tell him something then I remember he is dead. I can't even express how hard it is to write that simple word. Dead. Gone forever.
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Jan 5, 2014
  5. cetiya

    cetiya Member

    i dont know if i'm alowed to talk about another forum but there is a forum called grieving.com and they have a thread for the loss of an adult child. they are very supportive and might be a good place to seek comfort and understanding.
     
  6. demuredawn

    demuredawn Well-Known Member

    very sorry for your loss, akaangela... i was forced to give my son away upon his birth, so i know what a loss of a child feels like to an extent, but not to that extent, and i'm very very sorry....

    sometimes too, the state will help with burial cost... altho when they help, you don't get a choice of coffin/urn type thing, so idk may wanna inquire about that too...
     
  7. akaangela

    akaangela Member

    Thank you all for your support. I had to go into the hospital for a while but I am now out and doing as well as can be expected. There is nothing that can prepare a parent for the loss of their child, no matter the age. I am going to councling and trying to get a grip on my sorrow. Right now I just want to get over the life celebration.
     
  8. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    i am glad you have support for you hun and no noone can prepare one for losing a child noone I am sorry for your loss so sorry
     
  9. Blacky

    Blacky Well-Known Member

    I wish you all the happiness and luck in the world right now!
    I would hug you right know and let you believe that things will be better in time !
    We are here for you!!!
     
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