risky business

Discussion in 'Rants, Musings and Ideas' started by pegasusmyth, Jul 23, 2007.

  1. pegasusmyth

    pegasusmyth Active Member

    doing this is risky business.J. walked out on me yesterday while I was on this site.I got out in time.I know that I need help.I also know that for reasons I can't explain I can't just walk away.I've never been able to.If there is not a hand to reach out to I am unable to move.I despise myself for this.I wish I could just go ....walk out into the black void that my life is.I went to our local shelter once.The staff there told me they didn't want to do the shelter ,alloweed a girl with a gun to threaten me and then forced me to be out of the residence all day every day.I can't leave my home even and to have experianced that was horrible and terrifying so much so that I came back .It didn't help that they kept saying they would toss me on the street with no where to go.How can I go back to a place like that?Turn to them for help again?I feel alienated from people,from how everyone seems to live life.well .....some how I don't think that in the scheme of things me and my "problems " matter little to anyone.I should be able to just deal with it.SHOULDA<WOULDA<COULDA.Life sucks and soon I may be dead.