Discussion in 'Rape and Abuse' started by GeekGurl, Jun 24, 2009.

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  1. GeekGurl

    GeekGurl Well-Known Member

    I don't really understand what he did to justify your response there. Of course you can do whatever you want but I feel disappointed at your closed mindedness. The suggestion that he would welcome with open arms the idea that "maybe you should go get help" - as if he's never, ever heard that before. Think about how many times you've heard the same unhelpful crap regarding your depression. Not to mention the fact that He has no more control over his attraction than someone who is homosexual does. He has only 2 choices for the rest of his life, either to forever try to fight himself, deny what he wants and be eternally unhappy or to be voluntarily chemically castrated.- Something which many people suffering from such an illness do.

    I'm sure he came here hoping that he might find some acceptance amongst other people who are similarly accused of all sorts of things when really they're just sick.

    So well done.


    Now all feel free to berate, flame, ban me etc.
  2. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Member Safety & Support SF Supporter

    You should have posted this in LTM hun. :arms:
  3. GeekGurl

    GeekGurl Well-Known Member

    Yeah I suppose but LTM just seems to end up being "sweep it under the carpet" instead
  4. Carcinogen

    Carcinogen Well-Known Member

    I'm in agreeance with GeekGurl. He recognises he has a problem, and is trying to get the courage to get help, and understand what to expect. By posting here he is trying to prevent himself from hurting any child, and I for one would say that ANYTHING which achieves this end is positive. Banning him is not going to help him avoid abusing someone, and that, I'm sure is, is the ultimate end that we are all trying to achieve.
  5. JBird

    JBird Well-Known Member

    i think the right action was taken in all honesty. not only is he a danger to us but he/she is a danger to himself.

    there are vulnerable people here and OP themselves are vulnerable. should he/she ever get close to a member on here, whether they're over the legal age of consent or not, should they meet it'll be easy for a member to target him/her or even him to target a member.

    and in all honesty, i felt horribly uncomfortable knowing there was a pedophile on the forum. in my opinion, the internet is the last place a pedophile should go for help.
  6. GeekGurl

    GeekGurl Well-Known Member

    I can certainly understand that he would have made a lot of people uncomfortable. and Robin was probably trying to stop a flame war before it started. Heck maybe he's even been encouraged to come back under adifferent name and not be quite so honest.

    But geez thinking about how awful it would feel to spend your whole life having to lie to absolutely everyone about who you are just so that people who don't even know you don't want to instantly execute you. I mean I already hate myself and I know what that feel like, but with the other stuff on top. It's no wonder that some of them try anything they can to justify their actions, otherwise they'd spend every waking moment wanting to torture themselves to death.

    I almost wish I were in his shoes, then there'd be no objections to my wanting to kill myself.
  7. GeekGurl

    GeekGurl Well-Known Member

    Oh and I didn't mean to witch hunt you either Robin, I'm sorry. I'm sure your decision wasn't in any way exceptional.
  8. Carcinogen

    Carcinogen Well-Known Member

    Pretty much everyone on this forum is a danger to themselves or others. For me, it's killing that seems attractive; for him, it's children. Admittedly, the OP could lose control and do something stupid, but so could the rest of us, whether that be suicide, murder, or, in this case, child abuse.

    TBH, if I knew that someone had abused a child, my first instinct would be to torture them to a painful, horrific death. But if I think that compassion or listening will prevent another child from going through the hell that is abuse, then I for one am willing to at least try and help.

    If he feels alone and vulnerable, the chances are that any risk of abuse will rise, There is no help in banning his thread, and I personally feel that it would be far safer to refrain from doing so.

    He has not abused anyone yet, and he wishes to refrain from doing so. If there's a chance he could avoid harming anyone, isn't it better that we take that route?
  9. Axiom

    Axiom Account Closed

    hiya just wanted to put my input in. It's extremely dodgy to knowingly have someone here who is admitting to being a pedophile. It's an extremely other thing to have them justifiying their choice.

    That's slight justification, and something that's really dodgy. Where's this type of mental behavior going to lead? Yeah he has issues, but there are ways of going about it. If he's willing to talk about it, and find ways of dealing with them then, so be it. But on a suicide forum where people who have been raped as children by adults? I mean common. If he were going to be a part of this community he would have had to curb his expression to us and how we view certain parts of it.

    No offence, but going into a section on Rape and Abuse, and seeing a damn thread titled I am a pedophile really makes me feel sick inside. But I can see how it's not about me, it's about him. But I can also wonder, does he truly want help?

    People can not be allowed to defend the aspects of pedophile in my opinon. Not on a rape and abuse forum. Go somewhere else and do it, if he wanted help, he went about it the wrong way.
  10. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Member Safety & Support SF Supporter

    He didn't want support and since this is a support forum he shouldn't be here. Robin made a good decision by banning him, allowing him to stay would have done a lot more harm than good.
  11. Ignored

    Ignored Staff Alumni

    This is not the same thing at all. Sex between 2 consenting adults can never be the same as an adult having sex with a child who is not mature enough to be of equal standing and give consent. This is a ridiculous thing to say. People like him get off on discussions such as this. What is more titillating than talking to people who have been abused, especially if maybe he could get them to discuss details. People in prison do it all the time! No, he wasn't here for support and Robin was entirely right to do what he did, especially as he had been warned about justifying paedophilia already.
  12. Hurted

    Hurted Well-Known Member

    I still don't get it... why was he banned? He never said anything offensive!
    Shame on you Suicide forum! I've been here for 2 years and that's the most stupid thing that any moderator has done so far!

    You know what? If we would offer moral support to people like him, there would be less children abused!

    One thing is DISORDER pedophilia, and the other thing is ABUSE. Those 2 are different things!
  13. JBird

    JBird Well-Known Member

    he was banned because he was justifying it which he was warned against.

    at the end of the day Hurted, Robin is the owner of this site and should ANYTHING happen here it becomes his responsibility, even if he's in Jamaica for 3 months at the time of it happening. Robin needs to protect his 15,000 odd members, a lot of them include under 16s, it wouldn't be safe for them to come on SF anymore. If i was Robin i'd look at the community he has to protect and turn away any pedophile/rapist or murderer that joins this site. He got the only advice we could possibly give him, go and get help, he wasn't willing to try, we can't have someone like that on this forum, whether he's an active pedofile or not, Robin can't chance it.

    Its silly continuing this debate, he has been banned and Robins word is final, if you disagree with the action, tough, you can go and hunt him down, be his shoulder to cry on and soon enough bare feelings of guilt when you realise that you've been trying to 'save' him for years and it hasn't ended in the rainbows and kisses you were hoping, instead the inevitable has happened. YOU will feel the guilt, YOU will feel responsible, he'll be too busy getting kicks off what he just did.
  14. Robin

    Robin Guest

    He won't be allowed back, regardless of consensus, I set firm borders in my previous posts to him and he broke them pretty quickly. It's my experience that people with a condition as serious as being a pedophile need professional help, SF is NOT a substitute for professional help, it is for those who feel they have no voice in the community at large, the difference in this case is, I see no possibility of a pedophile being cured by the support offered on this forum, worse, he is likely to take much more abuse than he is to receive support. With this in mind I see nothing but disruption and pain should he remain a member, not only for those abused but for himself.

    I know and am very good friends with many of those who have been abused as children, the only reason he was allowed to stay until he broke the clear boundaries I set was because of his initial opinion that he deemed it wrong, however, the minute he likened being a pedophile to an heterosexual relationship broke my clearly stated boundary that if he tried to justify how he felt he would be banned.

    I really COULDN'T have set clearer boundaries, that he broke them so quickly just proves that he has no place being here if he is not going to seek professional help.
  15. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    I agree with the banning of this person to. He needs to get help by his doctors his psychiatrist I cannot beleive he came here knowing people have been abused by people like him. What an uncaring ass. Sorry just glad he is gone.
  16. Terry

    Terry Antiquities Friend Staff Alumni

    Fact is, if you can bear to read or watch anything on paedophillia, they often say they were not abusing the children; that it was consensual and a loving relationship and that the child/children were unhurt.
    Tell that to the hundreds of screwed up adults walking about that were coerced into these so called loving relationships as children !
    If I thought there was an iota of a chance that he could be helped I'd vote we try, but even qualified psychiatrists feel there is little to nothing that can be done.
  17. gentlelady

    gentlelady Staff Alumni

    I agree that, although this person seriously needs help, he is not willing to seek it. He stated that on more than one occasion. Yes, he also stated that he would never hurt children and wouldn't act on his urges. Yet later he stated that he wanted a loving relationship with a child. There have been others (John Wayne Gacey for one) that said the same things. This is the internet. People can say what they want. How can we be sure he has never acted on his urges? How do we know he is not here looking for a vulnerable child? Because he said so???? Would you be willing to take the chance with your child based on nothing but his word alone? I wouldn't. The risks are simply too high to take any chances. I
  18. plates

    plates Well-Known Member

    how can you compare homosexuality with paedophilia? even suggesting what you're suggesting is offensive to me.

    it's about consent.

    the rape and abuse forum isn't the place to find acceptance for a paedophile.

    i think robin acted excellently.
  19. TBear

    TBear Antiquities Friend

    In my "humble" opinion, Robin did what was best to maintain a safe environment for everyone - including the pedophile who wishes to justify himself...It makes me extremely nauseated to even have read the posts or write this.. there is no justification, only pain.

    Thank You Robin!
    Last edited by a moderator: Jun 28, 2009
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