So I have been back from hospital for a few hours since a failed suicide attempt and I'm worried about what he next few days hold. I have a history of depression and alcohol issues and I have had many suicidal thoughts but this is the first time I have taken it this far. In December last year my wife asked me to leave the family home as she could not copy anymore with all of the emotional baggage I was putting on her and she no longer love me, mainly because of my alcohol misuse which has stemmed from by depression. This came as a massive shock as I still, to this day, love her and I have two young daughters who I rarely see anymore. The last few months have been absolute hell for me and things came to a head yesterday when I found out my wife had been sleeping with random guys she has met online. Finding this out absolutely crushed me and, coupled with all the stuff I had been through in the last few months and years, sent me over the edge. I went to the local park with <mod edit, TDM: methods> the intention of dying. However, after <mod edit, TDM:methods> I had a realisation that maybe there was something (i still don't know exactly that, my best guess is my 2 children) that meant I had to carry on. Not knowing how much damage <mod effect:methods> would do I checked myself in to the local hospital than evening. After several tests I was advised that no lasting effects had been caused but given my vulnerability I had an intensive session with the local crisis team. They did suggest that they transfer me to the local secure unit but we finally agreed that I would stay in overnight for observations. I met the crisis team again this afternoon and after another lengthy chat we agreed that I should go home and see my GP to arrange further treatment and counselling. Whilst I can see that there is some hope there somewhere I am still scared of that may happen in the future. I've never been this far before and when things get tough in the future I know that I have the courage to take things to the next step whcih really scares me.