ROFL (personally I just carve my pumpkin)

Discussion in 'The Coffee House' started by Terry, Apr 17, 2012.

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  1. Terry

    Terry Antiquities Friend Staff Alumni

    Best Come Back in HISTORY. True story

    Police work must be entertaining as well as dangerous.

    Recently, a female police officer arrested Patrick Lawrence, 22 year old white male, fornicating with a pumpkin in the middle of the night.

    The next day, at the Gwinnett County (GA) courthouse, Lawrence was charged with lewd and lascivious behavior, public indecency and public intoxication.

    The suspect explained that as he was passing a pumpkin patch on his way home from a drinking session when he decided to stop, 'You know how a pumpkin is soft and squishy inside, and there was no one around for miles or at least I thought there wasn't anyone around' he stated.

    Lawrence went on to say that he pulled over to the side of the road, picked out a pumpkin that he felt was appropriate to his purpose, cut a hole in it, and proceeded to satisfy his pressing need.
    'Guess I was really into it, you know?' he commented with evident embarrassment.

    In the process of doing the deed, Lawrence failed to notice an approaching police car and was unaware of his audience until Officer Brenda Taylor approached him.

    'It was an unusual situation, that's for sure,' said Officer Taylor.
    'I walked up to Lawrence and he's just banging away at this pumpkin.'

    Officer Taylor went on to describe what happened when she approached Lawrence .

    'I said: ' Excuse me sir, but do you realize that you're having sex with a pumpkin??'

    He froze and was clearly very surprised that I was there, and then he looked me straight in the face and said:

    'A pumpkin? Shit ... is it midnight already?'

    The Washington Post wrote an article describing this as 'Best come-back line ever.'
  2. Terry

    Terry Antiquities Friend Staff Alumni

    European Plastic Shopping Bags






  3. Terry

    Terry Antiquities Friend Staff Alumni

  4. pogosticker

    pogosticker Well-Known Member

    LOL those bags are awesome.
  5. lightbeam

    lightbeam Antiquities Friend

  6. Raven

    Raven Guest

    where oh were do you find all of this?
  7. Terry

    Terry Antiquities Friend Staff Alumni

  8. ThornThatNeverHeals

    ThornThatNeverHeals Well-Known Member

    she buys em from her giggly dealers... but shes gotta be careful so she doesnt get arrested for sending one of us into cardiac arrest from a laughing fit!
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