My parents finally arrived home from Spain on Friday. I don't believe I have ever missed them or needed them as much as I recently did. I spoke to my mother (who suffers from depression and thought of suicide before) I told her how close I was to taking my life. She was upset but understood. A couple of months ago my doctor took me off paxil and put me on wellbutrin to quit smoking. Well I cannot be off my paxil....we have now learned that. I told my mother about my medical debt, the shit with my so-called friends, my suicidal thoughts etc. She hugged me and told me that she loved me. I used to HATE my mother. She divorced my father, married a rapist, and never seemed to be a mother to me...I always was alone to fend for myself. I realize how much she is my mother now, sad finally at the age of 26. I am still sad about friends. I have had my friends for 10+ years and they have turned their backs on me. My holidays were depressing and my birthday was a disaster. Recently I started getting a bit aggressive with my friends due to the fact that none of them want to grow up and halp with real issues. They think life is unicorns and rainbows. Oh well. I am in school and I am busy, right. I don't need to have a lot of friends. I have my 2 dogs who always love me, my parents who always try to help, and well my strength that I have within...... Right? God this started off somewhat happy and now....I am depressed again thinking about my ao-called friends....fuck! What to do?