Romanticizing It

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by CloudCatching, Sep 15, 2014.

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  1. CloudCatching

    CloudCatching Well-Known Member

    I'm not too sure what this is, but it's come back full circle. I figured talking about it would help, but I don't think there's a single thing anyone could say or do that would fix how I feel. Sometimes it just comes on strong and I'm not even sure if I know how to fix it. I'm manic, but lacking the proper medication, so I just have to wait for it to pass. Though, in these down times I've managed to plan out everything, cover whatever bases I have just so I know when low gets to lowest I can just leave.

    It's not that I don't think people wont care, I know they will. I used to be so absurdly into thinking that I had no friends and they wouldn't miss me, but I know they would. I know my mom, who treats me horribly and uses me, would grieve, but it wouldn't be sincere.

    I don't know how to combat intrusive thoughts. So, how do I get rid of this?
    Last edited by a moderator: Sep 15, 2014
  2. PerceptiveMink

    PerceptiveMink New Member

    When I'm manic and my manic thoughts take hold, I say to myself "I'm manic and my thoughts have no substance." This takes power away from the thoughts and I try to focus on what I am doing. I repeat this until the mania has passed.

    How come you do not have the proper medication?
  3. CloudCatching

    CloudCatching Well-Known Member

    Self reassurance has never really worked for me, but I appreciate the advice.

    As for medication, I used to be on several things. I can't afford anything in regards to that right now, seeing a doctor or whatever without insurance is really hard.
  4. PerceptiveMink

    PerceptiveMink New Member

    There's no state assistance clinic where you are? In Texas I go to a clinic that is on a sliding scale and it's free if you have no income. Not the best service at places like these but at least you get meds.
  5. JmpMster

    JmpMster Have a question? Message Me Staff Member Forum Owner ADMIN

    Should be able to get meds under parents insurance and if they do not have go do your medicare application. If you do not know where to go for free mental health services cal 211 from your phone and the social services people that answer will provide you with the names and numbers of agencies that can help you get meds and treatments.
  6. snogo

    snogo Well-Known Member

    Hi the only people who would care are my parents. I have no friends. So I'm happy to hear that you do know clearly that you have people who care about you and would miss you if you are not around.

    I hope the suggestion byNYJmpMaster would open doors for you to get the help you need. Keep posting to let us know how things are going.
  7. CloudCatching

    CloudCatching Well-Known Member

    I currently can't get on any medicare/medical as I've tried and been denied, even under the government programs. I don't know why I've been denied, but I have been. I've gone to a doctor that deals with LGBT issues and they've been trying to help me with psychiatric care, but it's a process that I wont see meds until mid October from.

    So, at least there's that.
  8. PerceptiveMink

    PerceptiveMink New Member

    Well hang in there. How are your symptoms right now? How long does your mania usually last?
  9. CloudCatching

    CloudCatching Well-Known Member

    It could be anywhere from a day to a month. I've had awful lows, but this isn't like it's been. It's a lot more numbing, rather than being overwhelmed with emotional distress, there's nothing.

    I feel pretty dull, like I'm doing things to keep up appearances rather than actually enjoying them.
  10. PerceptiveMink

    PerceptiveMink New Member

    I can definitely sympathize with doing things for appearances. I'm sure a lot of people with our issues can. Any updates over the last 10 days?
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